Tag Archives: mom

cancer, Family

Be Repeating

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We have our time. Hospice tomorrow at 9:00am. Not what we are hoping for, but mom needs to transition to new medication before they move her.

Dad and I are not leaving her side until she is through the hospice doors and in her ‘new home’.

Now we repeat with every painful moment:

Mama, we are here.

Mama, we love you.

Mama, today is Thursday. Michelle comes on Saturday.

Mama, we love you.

Mama, today is Thursday. Wendy and Peter will be here soon. Rea and Gail are coming tomorrow. Michelle is here on Saturday.

Mama, we are here.

Boys, cancer, Family, Parenting

Be fighting for life then death

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Dearest family, friends and blog followers,

I don’t say this lightly nor without the awareness that the words I write can bring emotions, triggers and thoughts.

Yesterday, the surgeon informed as that the surgery was a success but that the cancer had spread throughout mom’s abdomen. It was a mess in there.

Yesterday, we moved from fighting for mom’s life to fighting for mom’s death. Mom does not want to die in the hospital. We do not want her to die in the hospital.

Yesterday, dad and Sexy Neck took a tour of Hospice House. They were overwhelmed with the love, support and homey feeling. They both emphatically expressed that this was the place for mom. They even have a playroom.

Yesterday, we met with the Palliative Care Coordinator we got connected with in the summer through my sister’s diligent connection making.

Here is MM explaining things to mom:

20131219-003839.jpgWhat a lovely, hardworking, caring and strong human being in a nurse uniform. (Reminds us of our midwife!)

Today, we move mom to Hospice House.

Today, we celebrate mom leaving the hospital forever.

Today, we shift our fight for life to relaxing and enjoying time with mom.

cancer, Family

Be Chasing Pain (again)

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This morning, we are working hard at getting the pain under control. Mom is on a post surgery pump where every 5 minutes she has to push a pump to get the meds. We are praying for some breakthrough.

The surgery went well, they were able to bypass the current bowel obstruction. The cancer mass is quite large.

I will try to write more later as I process the information from the surgeon. I didn’t want to leave you hanging. You are holding us up in prayer. You are helping us walk, stay focused on mom/dad/ and keeping me upright.

“Though we walk through the valley, we have no fear!”. My summary of Psalm 23.

Mom has been so thirsty the last few days. She is not able to drink water yet, but she is enjoying some ice chips.

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Mom and dad hanging together.

My sister has sent a Christmas present each day til Christmas. These are the highlights of mom’s day.

Here is today’s gift (Mom even got up the energy to say cheese for the photo!):

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She is such a strong, thoughtful, determined woman! Love you Mama!

cancer, Family

Be Waiting for Surgery

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Waiting, waiting, waiting. It is a waiting game.

We wait for the doctor, we wait to hear about the surgery time, we wait to know about mom’s prognosis.

In our waiting, we sit in sadness, thinking, pondering, wondering. What will be next?

We hear the fan overhead, mom’s IV drip, mom’s deep breathing, the lady coughing next door, the slap of shoes walking down the hall, the click of a door.

I see beautiful Australia photos on the wall, dad rubbing mom’s sore hips, , mom’s lemon lip soothers, my beautiful lunch brought by a friend.

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I feel held up through prayer, thoughts and love.

I soak up mom’s beautiful smiles and dad’s many tears.

Surgery scheduled for 4:00. They are trying to move mom to make room for someone else. Really? Going fight!! NOW they tell me they are trying to move her for mom’s benefit so they can get to know her before surgery. Then the charge nurse told me this is a maternity, children’s floor. I corrected her and told her it was for women and children. Oh she was reaching for straws. We are in interesting times.

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Mama resting in the afternoon sun!

cancer, Family

Be Hoping for a Christmas Miracle

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Mom is resting tonight on Women’s and Children’s. Today, we had a devastating and sweet day as a family.

It is always sweet to look into mom’s eyes, rub her sore hips and hear her voice. Mom never complains through it all. Just asks nicely for her pain medication and often waits patiently. She is very eagerly looking forward to a nice drink of water….

Now into the devastating part.

Mom had blood work and CAT scan. It showed a mass in abdomen, enlarged lymph nodes (since last Scan three weeks ago), bowel obstruction, kidney/uterers partial blockage and some veins blocked. Red blood cell is at 90 and white count is elevated.

The chemo #4 didn’t shrink the cancer. In fact, a tumour has grown over seven centimetres in the last weeks. The oncologist said, “The cancer has changed in how it is acting. It is growing faster.” (the definition of faster I am not sure about.) She has a tube in her nose to drain out her fluid until she gets surgery for her bowel obstruction. She is thirsty. I pray God would be her living water.

Yup, to top it off this bugger of a tumour is causing a bowel obstruction. Tomorrow or Wednesday, mom will have surgery to relieve this blockage.

We are praying for a miracle. That the surgeon will skillfully fix mom’s blockage, she will have a restful post-operation room and that the oncologists will find the right chemotherapy to kick this bugger of a cancer into remission.

The sweetest moment I saved for last, the boys came to say goodnight to Nana. “Wuv you Nana!”

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It was a hard decision to leave Nana but I am hanging out with Papa tonight. I leave mom in God’s hands.

I gave my kiss on the forehead to mom and left her in the hands of the very capable nurses on fourth floor.

I love you mama! Love. Love. Love.