All these lovelies where born months apart (coincidently). They are all either 6 years old, 4 years old or 2.
It was beautiful to be reunited with them today.
I also managed to ‘almost’ get a photo of their wonderful parents.
Pure hearts.
Pure joy.
Pure friendship.
Pure love.
I have had an incredibly encouraging and heartfelt day with many new ‘God’ moments. I am full of gratitude. I feel ready to come back to the blogging world to reach out and share this journey once again.
God has been revealin Himself to me through lying down, rest, coincidences, nature (especially sunsets), His word, music, memories and now through simple everyday living.
He is alive.
I am back!
Renewed and new.
Hurting and humble.
Grateful.
🌀 Last night, I had my first dream about my mom. She told me she was going to travel around the world with her friend Sherry and my dad’s friend Oscar. (No idea why these two friends came up… but I have incomplete understanding of many things these days.)
🌀 A friend, A, sent me this book:
(Note the butterfly on the cover. A gift from God just for our family?)
🌀 I saw a friend’s daughter walking down the road. Another great gift as I am mourning never seeing my people from Vtown on a daily basis.
🌀 CC decided to take his Nana toque out if the bag that I gave out on December 21st.
🌀 A new friend shared that her close friend’s two year old son died in his sleep. I cried with her and was able to recommend some good grief books.
🌀 For the first time, I noticed that a card that my friends sent from Vtown had butterflies all over it. Butterflies have become very significant for our family around my mom’s death.
The card has been sitting above my sink but I hadn’t even noticed the butterflies.
🌀 God gave me this word from a bible study I have been doing:
“Forget about what’s happened. Don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out, don’t you see it?”(Isaiah 43:18-19)
🌀 I have finally decided to open the Christmas gift my mom bought for me, wrapped for me and wrote a tag on all while enduring cancer. I am full of gratitude.
I feel newness in my journey. I sense God has given me new eyes to see with my heart. I feel a deepening. I wonder what all of this newness will entail.
Wallpaper.
Words.
Helping cancer patients.
Holidays.
A new policy for doctors.
My people.
A Magician
A Spy
A two year old Jumper
Plus a cute bedtime Storytime with Papa in matching pajamas from Spain to boot!
My dad continues to amaze me.
In each moment, throughout his grief, he has always been thoughtful of who he needs to say thank you to. He has exemplified gratitude through taking the time to express his heartfelt thanks.
With editing help from myself and my sister, my dad managed to get this thank you into this mornings paper. Incredible!
The hardest part of this process was that he was afraid he would forget to thank someone.
Today, I am feeling sad but filled with gratitude for all my people in PG, Williams Lake, Summerland,Calgary, Edmonton, Vietnam, Kamloops, Kelowna, Spain, Germany, Cowichan Bay, Dawson City, Vancouver Lumby, Coldstream and here in Vernon where I currently row my boat of grief.
💓
Yesterday, we skied Woodland Bell. The boys have decided to call it Remembering Nana Trail. It is the trail where we placed a rose last week in memory of mom.
JC got to tryout a new piece of ski equipment yesterday.
JC has been waiting a couple of years, but on Saturday T, his cross country coach and owner of Stussi’s gave JC the go ahead to ski with poles.
We aren’t sure what the poles are for yet, mostly they seem to be brother “pullers”!
Love it.
Proud little man.
Happy little brother.
Who’s that peaking behind OC in the Chariot?
Thanks D!
My friend, Double D, and I have been passing back this darling hat the last few years.
She has gotten me good in her endeavours to get the hat back to me!
Here’s the story that took the cake! This happened in June.
I gave it back to her in the summer sometime and now in the last few weeks either when mom was in hospital or at hospice, I received a care package. In this care package was chocolate, tea and a nice box of Kleenex.
Guess what I pulled out of the Kleenex box last night?
Luckily, I had a toy to return to her today, the hat is back in her hands.
Just got a text from my good friend Double D:
Lmao!! You double got me I hadn’t even unpacked the toys yet, I just read your post and was smugly chuckling to myself till I kept reading and scrolled down to Diego!!! NNNNOOOO!
Haha 😛
To go along with my post yesterday about no bad questions, the boys have started to concentrate their discussions about Nana on death.
The day before Nana died they boys wrote these wonderful letters to Nana, said goodbye and I love you through the window and gave kisses and hugs.
Note: KT was our dog that died in June 2012.
Today, I was singing in the car, “The name of The Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and they are safe…”
JC stops me and says, “That’s the song you were singing when we went to Vancouver and that woman died. Audrey, I think!”
Whew, a song reminding him of two Christmases ago when we went to say goodbye to Sexy Neck’s aunt Audrey. She died a couple of hours after we said goodbye.
I hope that the boys will only feel the richness of this time before and after Nana’s death. It has brought us down to ground zero in terms of what is important.
Our grief is raw but our relationships richer and our love stronger!
"Be" ENOUGH 