Category Archives: Boys

Be Turning a Corner

Mom has officially turned a corner. No more pain/nausea. She is getting out and about. She came for a short visit today. She is eating and drinking. It truly is the little things in life! October 31st is mom’s surgery date.

Oh ya, I also have something to share. When you ‘turn the corner’ into our dining room/kitchen, look at this great hat rack we put up from Ikea:

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I love this simple rack! It holds all the boys knapsacks. There are cubbies for them to put their home reading/crafts in. We have even been using the top to keep our precious Lego creations safe.

I just love turning a corner!

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Sidenote:
I am not sure if anyone feels schizophrenic about this post or not, but it definitely shed some light for me. I was writing about my mom turning a corner which led me to thinking about our new rack around the corner.

Every day, I live in the reality of my mom’s journey through cancer. Every day I struggle to ‘feel’ anything but sadness and loss. It is the little things like this silly backpack rack that keep my chin up and my feet moving forward.

Everything else (mom’s cancer, this move, some relationships, new neighbours) I can’t put into an “organized box”!

Thank God for God. I’m holding tightly my Lord!

Be ‘Moving’ Backwards to go Forward

My counsellor has been working with me to let go of the Western ideal that we move from point A to point B never to return to ‘old stuff’.

When I continue to go over this old ground in my mind, I feel like a failure, I feel shame and I feel mad.

My inner dialogue goes something like this:
“What this again? Seriously Joanna. Are you really going to have this same conversation again? Are we really going down this path? How could this happen again?”

Thanks to my counsellor, I have shifted this A to B mentally to be more of a deepening spiral. Like a tornado funnel.

Oh I like this analogy because sometimes I have me some wind blowing around me!

Yes, I am going to go over the same road again but I am going to be in a different place on my path, a deeper place. (I am almost 40 you know!).

Last night, was a huge mental shift downward into my deepening spiral.

For weeks I have looked for a once per week hockey program that we could do in Ktown. Do you think I could find one? Nope! Minor hockey, that wants to devour families lives with their three times per week practices/games, is the show in this town.

Sooo….
We decided to take JC out of Grade One forty-five minutes early and drive the boys sixty kilometres back to the town we just moved from so that the boys could play hockey.

They are back at the rink they know.

CC has the same coach he had last year.
Papa was on the ice with CC.
JC got to move up a level.
He gets his own jersey this year.
I get to see old friends each week.
AND THE VERY BEST PART, NANA CAME TO WATCH. Can you see me up and jumping around?

It was amazing night of going backwards. JC’s teacher was supportive of our idea, dad laced up his skates and even went for a morning skate to get ready, lastly mom looked me square in the eyes and said, “I am really glad that you are coming here for hockey!”

Anything for you Mama! Now if only I could meet your request for a new body!

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JC waiting to give his brother a high five before his turn on the ice.

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Papa and CC working together.

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OC watching the action.

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Nana is on the right in the toque.

Sometimes you need to go backwards to move forward. Lesson learned. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper.

Be a Newspaper Robot Maker

Our ‘Angel A’ friend drove over ten hours last week to help out during mom’s post chemo recovery.

‘A’ soared through a rushed trip to the hospital, moment-by-moment decisions and tearful prayer times. We are grateful that she could spend time away from her family to help our family.

One of the best moments she had with our wee boys was during an impromptu craft session using the newspaper sitting on the table, glue, foil and a piece of paper.

The big one on the left is JC, bottom right is CC and top right is OC.

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Can anyone tell we have been doing a lot of snorkelling in the pool?

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#bestcraftever

Be Buying Your Teacher Shoes?

Sunday afternoon, JC and I went to do a few errands for Nana and Papa here in the big city.

I find these one-on-one times with the boys are incredibly insightful and lead me down paths that sometimes I don’t understand.

Here is our story from Sunday:

JC and I were walking through a store looking at the Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations. We were talking about thanksgiving, then being thankful, next was school then we moved on to his teacher. We finished the conversation by trying to think of some way we could show his teacher we are thankful.

JC emphatically answered, “Shoes! Mom, we need to get her some shoes!”

In my mind I started rolling through the options – does she talk a lot about shoes, does she wear different shoes everyday (my high school VP wore a different tie every day), does she wear ‘funny’ shoes or ? I was confused.

He insisted we buy his teacher shoes, but we started talking about how much we wanted to spend or was there something we could do instead. We settled on a sweet treat and a note where I told his teacher the story of the shoes.

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I just received an email from his teacher and here was her response:

I may know why Jackson wanted to buy me shoes!! I have several single shoes at school for an up-coming lesson on selecting ‘good fit’ books. The idea of the lesson is that choosing a book is like choosing shoes to buy: they need to be the right size AND they need to fit your purpose. For example, you wouldn’t wear heels to go hiking. This is just like not choosing a story book about frogs if you want to learn about frogs. All this to say that I have many single shoes at school, and I have not yet explained why. Might he have thought that my shoes don’t have mates? Or is he insinuating that my gym runners are out of style!?!

This is hilarious! My poor organized , empathetic first born noticed all these single shoes and wanted to correct the ‘problem’ for his teacher.

Hahahaha. This made my whole month. I love creative teachers.

Be Playing Living Room Frisbee.

We enjoyed a wonderful hour with Nana and Papa today. Nana has started to eat and drink a bit. Papa enjoyed an afternoon with M working in the garden.

The big boys made a love message in a bottle for Nana. They were so excited to give them to her.

JC enjoyed showing Nana his schoolwork.

OC loved making his cow noises and laughing for Nana.

CC was very gentle and focused while playing living room frisbee with Nana. It was especially sweet when CC said to Nana, “Good one Nan!”

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Be an ‘Old’ Friend.

A friend sticks close no matter the weather.

A friend tells you when they are in town even if they can’t see you.

A friend uses her professional singing voice to sing your boys a bedtime song.

A friend drives ten hours on their holidays to come help you.

A friend asks about your mom and listens to the answer.

A friend loves you AND your family no matter the behaviour.

A friend bakes spelt buns just because.

A friend delivers food to the hospital and home.

A friend phones to check in, but doesn’t say “how are you?” because this makes you bawl your eyes out.

A friend cries with you when you get the prognosis.

A friend lets them hug you for a long time.

A friend pray unceasingly, even if it is the same prayer over and over.

A friend helps even if you haven’t seen them in twenty years or two hours.

A friend brings wine.

A friend climbs a mountain one day and walks with you another day.

A friend loves.

A friend is lovingly brutally honest.

A photo of just a few of our dear friends that have touched our lives and kept us strong through this time of change.

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Mom started her third chemo yesterday. She is struggling with nausea, eating and the extreme fatigue. Surgery is booked for October 31st in VCity.

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Be Seeing Jesus’ Castle

Lately, I have an incredible appreciation for clouds. Their beauty, shapes and movement are awe inspiring and wondrous for me.

Tonight, we were driving to Sexy Necks bear school to watch some ‘old’ friends coach volleyball.

We saw these clouds.

JC exclaimed, “It looks like the entrance to Jesus’s castle!”

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Apparently clouds are speaking to more than me these days.