Category Archives: Boys

Boys, Family

Be Having Something About Butterflies

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A butterfly metamorphosis painting sits on a table at a retreat two weeks ago.

Our retreat leader points it out to me.

My sister talks to mom about flying away like a butterfly.

My dad says the same.

The children talk about butterflies.

It is winter. There is snow on the ground.

Then I see this on the hospice fireplace:

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And then this note arrives from my mom and dad’s beautiful neighbour:

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The children draw some pictures:

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Yup, more butterflies. I just arrived home to mom and dad’s and guess what I saw on the fridge for the first time ever….

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I think either S and A drew it, but I am not sure when or how it got there.

Yup, butterflies everywhere in the middle on winter.

Beautiful butterflies.

Fly Mama Fly.

Boys, Christianity, Family

Be Snowing In California

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I am not sure how you feel about God or prayer or miracles or signs and wonders BUT I DO FEEL VERY STRONGLY THAT YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT LOVE.

How is it possible that this little stay-at-home mom’s blog has gone from 20-50 hits per days, to now 855 today? The LOVE you share for my mom, Gwen, my dad, Mike and our family.

We are overwhelmed by your love for our family through this blog, through phone calls, emails, cards, food and visits. Everyone has used their own ways and their own gifts to love us. Thank you.

Also being a Northern girl we all know about snow. A few weeks ago, I posted about the significance of snow in our life here.

On Friday, when we transferred mom from hospital to hospice, the snow flakes were fluttering out of the sky. I asked Tom, the ambulance driver, if mom could feel the snow on her face. As dad, Sexy Neck, JC, CC, and OC came to greet Nana into hospice, the snowflakes fell softly on mom’s face lying in the stretcher.

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The next day, I received this email from my old University roommate and teammate, Jill. More snow stories. I love how God brings such miraculous signs and wonders to encourage us. And the greatest of these was LOVE.

Now, here’s Jill:
SNOW IN CALIFORNIA
I’m loving reading your blog. How did I not know you were writing this?

We have so much to talk about but I thought I would share this with you.

I read your blog about the importance of snow in your life.
Last night I was thinking – what if I asked God to snow here?

I never really asked, just thought about it.
In fact I didn’t want to ask, because it doesn’t snow here.

Anyway, this morning I looked out to snow. Tree snow.
The fluff has been coming off daily, but this morning it was like a little snow storm.

Then tonight, Ayla finds these two itsy bitsy Styrofoam bits. She takes one and hands one to me and says Mum let’s have a snow ball fight.

Made me smile and feel so warm.

Looks like you are surrounded by wonderful friends and family.

Your blog has turned so peaceful.

-Jilly

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Boys, cancer, Family

Be In Calm After The Storm

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Mom is at hospice. She has had a very peaceful and restful day.

Awaiting arrival of Rea, Michelle, Craig, Sydney, Abby and more loved ones.

Mom is well loved.

Time for me to Be Still.

Be with mama soaking up her love, strength, peace.

There is no fear here as we sit just love and peace.

Time for me to Be Present.

Be with mama enjoying her soft skin, her beautiful smile and the light of her eyes.

Sit with my dad in his grief.

Retell old memories.

Create new ones.

Cry with my wee boys who know Nana is going to die.

Get a big hug from my big sister. She gives the best hugs.

Accept any and every hug so that I don’t float away in grief. Thanks to Neil and Steve for doing that for me today.

Sit with my big cousins. I adore them. Admire them greatly.

Soak in my aunts and uncles deep love for my parents.

Say thank you and I love you.

Lean on anyone left standing.

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Nana and I watching Wheel of Fortune and drinking cranberry juice. Well, I watch Nana and Nana is resting.

Peace. Love. Hugs.

Boys, cancer, Family, Parenting

Be fighting for life then death

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Dearest family, friends and blog followers,

I don’t say this lightly nor without the awareness that the words I write can bring emotions, triggers and thoughts.

Yesterday, the surgeon informed as that the surgery was a success but that the cancer had spread throughout mom’s abdomen. It was a mess in there.

Yesterday, we moved from fighting for mom’s life to fighting for mom’s death. Mom does not want to die in the hospital. We do not want her to die in the hospital.

Yesterday, dad and Sexy Neck took a tour of Hospice House. They were overwhelmed with the love, support and homey feeling. They both emphatically expressed that this was the place for mom. They even have a playroom.

Yesterday, we met with the Palliative Care Coordinator we got connected with in the summer through my sister’s diligent connection making.

Here is MM explaining things to mom:

20131219-003839.jpgWhat a lovely, hardworking, caring and strong human being in a nurse uniform. (Reminds us of our midwife!)

Today, we move mom to Hospice House.

Today, we celebrate mom leaving the hospital forever.

Today, we shift our fight for life to relaxing and enjoying time with mom.

Boys, cancer, christmas

Be A Giver of Great Gifts

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Look who came to visit nana and I tonight:

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Santa, the giver of great gifts!

Thank you to all the Santas in our lives right now.

Great gifts:
– Booking flights from Australia, Spain, Whitehorse, Vancouver.
– Heartfelt Prayer
– Thoughts about my mom and our family
– Food and water
– Kind, gentle care
– Good pain medication. (Just say yes to drugs when you have cancer.).
– Facebook messages/Blog comments
– Pictures to share with mom from afar.
– Michelle Miller (Pain Specialist) taking the helm.
AND so many other things.

Full of gratitude for God’s great mercy and for how He has used people in our lives today to help mom.