All posts by Be Enough

Be Saying ‘Thank You’ to my Mom’s CFUW friends

July 10, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

I have talked before about my salty people. As my mom and dad journeyed through cancer, I got to see first hand the saltiness of their friends.

Yesterday, I was fortunate to help my dad host a group of my mom’s favourite people at their house overlooking the lake.

All of these women belong to the CFUW. (Canadian Federation of University Women)

Mom moved full time to Vtown when JC, our oldest, was three months old in July of 2007. Over the years as mom and I talked about all the amazing people she was meeting hiking, biking, quilting, volunteering or even her next door neighbour, mom always expressed “oh she’s in CFUW too!” They are everywhere.

“Where are Nana’s friends?”

I have taken up riding my bike very early in the morning. For those who know me well, you are probably lying on the floor laughing or passed out, as you know I not a morning person nor much of a long distance bike rider. I feel close to my mom in the quiet mornings as the pedals crank and hear the birds. I also love seeing who is out and about as well as exploring this new city. Earlier this week, I chose a random street along the lake and you will never guess what I saw. A sign stating:

The CFUW are everywhere, even taking care of a street along the lake.

During my mom’s cancer journey, her CFUW friends were everywhere. They provided food delivered to hospice for our family, picked up boxes of books to be donated, just because I asked. They provided close conversation and space for mom to be herself. They brought pictures to uplift and stories to comfort. This group of women did everything they could for my family and especially my dear mom.

At the Vancouver Peace Summit in 2009, the Dalai Lama foretold that Western women will save the world. After watching my mom’s CFUW friends, I believe him.

With gratitude,

For all the gifts,

Giving freely and lovingly,

Over the course of this last year!

To a group of women,

Who gave these gifts,

Of themselves, through themselves,

Independently and collectively,

Thank you from the bottom of my family’s hearts and stomachs!

Goals, Parenting, writing

Be at the Beginning (my 501st post!)

July 10, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Folks… How did I write 500 posts? Here is my 150th post! I wrote it almost a year ago. So, if I do the math correctly, in the last 365 days (which equals one year), I have written just shy of one post per day. Sexy Neck, am I right? Is this possible?

As I sit and write this five hundred and first post, where am I?

I am at the beginning.

The start.

Fresh.

New.

Beginning.

Each day I fully embrace. I feel more alive with deep emotion than I have ever felt.

Life is not about living in Disneyland, but enjoying those Disneyland moment. The exciting rides, the yummy sweet food, the cleanliness and friendly people.

Life is not about running from sadness, grief and hard times, but sitting in it. Living through it. Feeling deeply. The tears, the anguish, the copious amounts of laundry and people who will never make sense.

Life is about a beautiful woven quilt like my mom used to make. The light and dark fabrics making a beautiful pattern.

Life is about forgiving and starting fresh each day. The sun and the moon providing guideposts to help us do this.

Life is about surrounding myself with healthy people who may not understand me but honour me for who I am. People make a difference in my life, both positively and detrimentally. I am a relationship person. They are important to me.

Life is about being positive and focusing on my strengths. I could ‘work on’ all my negative attributes for the rest of my life and not move one mile, but I can continue to concentrate on my gifts and talents and hit the stars. Don’t we all find it easy to do what we love? Imagine if we chose to live this way each day?

Life is about beginnings. Learning to paddle board at sixty-seven years old. Going on a Tour de France Training Camp in Mallorca at age seventy. Being the very best Nana, mom, wife, aunt, sister and friend each day.

Thank you mom for teaching me about beginnings… And for being my guide through the ultimate of beginnings here on earth as a human being, death.

And now I ponder my own beginnings: starting a business, going back to school, new stages with my boys, fitness, health, volunteering, new activities, new friends and new starts with old ones.

Anticipation.

Excitement.

Pondering.

New.

Beginnings.

Construction, Family

Be Doing A Less Than $5000 Kitchen Reno

July 7, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

Kitchen Renovation anyone? Just say No!

I had no idea why kitchens cost so much to renovate.

My family (including my mom and dad last July) has put so much sweat equity into this kitchen it should be worth $100,000. We spent less than $5000, new-to-us appliances included.

Here is our work at this humbling progress. From brown wood and lino floors to white walls, avocado cupboards and engineered hardwood.

We found a guy who makes laminate countertops in his garage. Perfect!

Our amazing contractor installed the wood floors, a new door and my parents put their skill into painting the cupboards.

We bought a secondhand Bosch dishwasher for $200 and splurged on a new faucet, fridge, stove and hardware.

Here is what we started with:
1960’s kitchen with ‘newer’ appliances.

First week: Paint June 23, 2013

Week Two: Laminate Countertop July, 2013

Week Three: Engineered Hardwood floors and copious amounts of coats of paint. I think it was FIVE coats of paint to be exact. July, 2013

Week Four and throughout the NEXT YEAR!: Final paint and new hardware. Viola c’est fini! June 15, 2014!

This kitchen is inspired by this photo from houzz.com and our designer friends Robyn and Angela.

Many, many hours of painting by Steve, my mom and dad made this $5000 transformation possible. It was a labour of love.

Let’s review–
BEFORE:

TODAY:

With God all things are possible.

With Sexy Neck’s ideas and vision a smokey house became a home.

With my parents labour of love, our roots have grown deep.

With our boys love of fort building, creating and playing every corner of our home has been explored and filled.

With old and new friends stopping by laughter and memories have brought us home.

Boys, Family, Parenting

Be a Golf Camper in 2014

July 3, 2014 Be Enough 4 Comments

It always amazes me the memories that we hold dear to us. I love hearing peoples stories for this very reason.

My boys memories are especially sweet for me because they often have a profound deepness about them and sometimes they are seriously silly!

Last year I blogged about our oldest experiencing a golf camp here.

Here are both of our boys at golf camp today. JC is seven and CC is almost five. (We snuck him in!) They were very excited to go together and ride in the golf cart, putting the ball down hill very carefully and driving the ball towards a yellow flag.

The boys are waiting for camp to begin. Papa is in the background chatting to the instructor.

The boys were ready and in the car before any of us this morning… thank goodness the car was in the garage or they would have had to get out because it was hot, hot, hot today!

The boys getting ready to ride the cart down to the driving range. JC brought up a memory from last year. Nana had walked down to the driving range to watch him hit the ball. At the end of the session Nana decided to race the golf cart back up the hill. JC remembered her running fast. And in true Nana fashion, she won the race!

How can this only be a year ago? How could she have been in the hospital only a month later? And DEAD five months later?

Memories.

Tumbling forth.

Beautiful, driven Nana.

Boys who cherished her presence.

Loving.

Determined.

Encouraging.

Present.

Nana.

Boys, Family

Be Tie Dying

July 1, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

Happy Canada Day! We are wearing the tie dye shirts that we made for JC’s seventh birthday party.

All day I have been singing part of our national anthem, “God keep our land, glorious and free!”

We swam, sang O Canada while eating cupcakes, visited Papa in Vtown, ate together and enjoyed movies together. I don’t think we will make it to the fireworks, but we are very grateful to be together sporting our tie dye Canada day t-shirts!

Grief, writing

Be Reading Beth Moore ‘Breaking Free’

June 27, 2014 Be Enough 2 Comments

I took this book off the shelf this week.

I put it on the back of the toilet seat to open when I had a quiet moment while I lock myself in the bathroom.

Then I opened the book to this page:

These last few weeks I have been in a dark tomb of anger, fatigue, sadness and again wondering how to live this new life in the light without my mom. I have many words tumbling in my head, most not rated G. I am thinking thoughts I have never thought and experiencing deep emotions on both ends of the spectrum.

I feel sadness that knocks me over as I watch mothers with their mothers. I cannot move but just stare when I see the grandmas picking up their grandchildren, filled with joy, from preschool. I want my mom by my side on my bike. I desire her steady presence and insight into my life.

I weep.

I don’t know what the next moment will bring, but my heart is full of gratitude for the gift of Beth Moore, books, my ability to read and God weaving everything together.

Holding on.

Tight.

Sitting in my grief.

Damn, it’s hard.

Knowing this will not overcome me.

Trusting.

Being grateful for the life I have.

In Christ alone.

Uncategorized

Farm Kid Joins The Marines !!!!!!

June 19, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

Be Laughing… This was a great pick me up for today. Thank you dear Levi.

Family, Grief, writing

Be in the Perfect Storm

June 18, 2014 Be Enough Leave a comment

The storm has poured down on me this year, raining on my head, sleet whopping the sides of my face, frozen eyelashes, paralyzing snow. I am in the perfect storm of GRIEF!

Death is disaster.

Devastating.

Debilitating.

Brutal.

I told someone three times in one conversation that I am not going to allow anything bad come from my mom’s life or death. Guess what?

Death is just bad.

Very, very bad.

Sorry, I can’t wrap this one in a pretty pretend ‘good’ package.

Just bad!

Moving sucks.

Lonely.

Agonizing.

Painful.

Trying to find where to get decent produce, gluten free bread and friends that are honest and not too busy flying around like hummingbirds.

Now a teacher’s strike affecting friends, family and dear Sexy Neck.

School ended last Friday for the summer, two weeks early.

The teacher’s strike for class composition, size and wages.

They walk, they wear signs, they do not get paid.

Their journey is honourable.

The negotiations are a schoolyard fight between two people speaking different languages. The teacher’s union and the Government.

The pressure the strike has put on families scrambling for child care and the administration (including Sexy Neck) still left inside the schools is unfathomable.

Most days I don’t ask. Can’t ask.

As I sit deeply in this year of grief layered with mom’s death, moving, watching dad grieve, watching friendships die and now the strike.

“The Perfect Storm” painted over the last week.
Let a new season come upon our family…

Soon?

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"Be" ENOUGH