Tag Archives: cancer

Be Wordy on the Weekend

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This quote reminded me of my dad’s comment this week about our family being in God’s hand. This is the billboard from the church down the street.

Mom met for the first time yesterday with her Gyno-oncologist from Vtown. We received both good and bad news and continue to live in shades of grey (in God’s hand of course).

Here’s the play-by-play recap of the appointment: (my friends always laugh at my sports lingo, so I had to throw some in here to lighten the moment.)

– Mom’s cancer is responding “excellently” to the chemo. (Excellent was what the CAT scan report said.)
– they still cannot give us a diagnosis til after the surgery.
– the goal of the chemo is to put the cancer into remission for as long as possible. (At least until baby OC gets married?)
– mom is moving forward with chemo on Tuesday
– mom will have surgery 500 kilometres away in Vtown. I am not sure how she is getting there – anyone want to loan us a motor home?
– I am sad and optimistic.

Life changes quickly.

Enjoy the one YOU have.

Consume less stuff.

Be with YOUR peeps and consume them.

What a gift my mom and dad are.

Be Diagnosing and Prognosing

Tomorrow, my mom will finally receive her ‘official’ diagnosis and prognosis. I am not sure what they are going to tell us.

I am going in completed blind.

I sit in fear and trembling, with a humble heart at all the possibilities of this disease called cancer.

My dad told me the other day that God has us in the palm of his hand.

In preparation for tomorrow, I have my list of questions. M, my sister, has her list. My mom wants to know her surgery date in Vtown and my dad is hoping to hear mom’s prognosis.

Friday.
10:45am Pacific Standard Time.
Let the healing journey continue.

Be Going for a Walk

I have managed to gain over twenty pounds in the last three months. Quite a feat as this is approximately how much I gained during my nine months of pregnancy. And no I am not pregnant this time around for those wondering folks.

I am happy to say that mom’s weight has stabilized in the last two days. She also ate pizza with us tonight. We had to replace the tomato sauce with pesto and she gobbled it all up. (Tomato is hard on her mouth, esophagus, stomach.)

After dinner, mom rested while we played downstairs. Then JC convinced Nana to go out for a walk. No sooner did I have my shoes on then mom and JC were at the end of the road and into the field overlooking the lake.

Beautiful.
Peaceful.
Incredibly inspiring.
Going for a walk.

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Papa and his OC.

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Did we hear a snake? Nope just a quail.

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Super fast CC is hard to get a photo of these days.

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Now, if my mom can get off the couch to go for a walk, I know that I can at least do that as well. Thanks for the continual inspiration mom.

Be Putting Your Microwave in a Corner (on the floor!)

Having guests in your home always helps you to look at your habits and why you do what you do.

I have never felt good about possibly one of the greatest inventions of our time: the microwave. I rarely use it, probably less than once per week. You can probably tell this by the placement of this machine in our home.

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As my mom struggles to eat, we are challenged as a family to get the MOST nutritious high protein foods in every spoonful that goes into mom’s mouth.

This week, I have been personally challenged to find out about this machine that I didn’t really understand.

But here is what I found out:
– it uses microwaves (this made me laugh) to bounce around in a metal box to heat things up.
– creates hot spots in food or “steam explosions”.
– microwaving in plastic has shown to release toxins into the food.
– decreases the nutritional value of food that is heated up
– differences in opinions on whether it changes the food on a molecular level.
– great for disinfecting you kitchen dish cloth.
– for a product that sits in nine out of ten homes, there is little research on its safety in terms of how they are made or even work.

What am I going to do? Me, I am going to continue to use it as little as possible. How about you? What do you do when you read something like this?

Update: Sexy Neck has moved the microwave to the unfinished basement. I haven’t seen it since. It is now amongst the sea of boxes. I do see him head downstairs with a cold cup of coffee every once in awhile that mysteriously comes back hot.

Be Seeing God’s Hand.

In the depth of despair, the busyness of my mind and body I carried throughout my previous days have been stripped away.

The fog that covered my eyes has been lifted, I guess anguish will do that for you.

Gently, I see God tapping me and the people around me on their shoulders, asking, “Do you see me at work?” Interesting on the first day of school, I saw a women carrying this book that I was given while my mom was in the hospital.

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Also on the first day of school, I walked into the schoolyard with our realtor who helped us buy our house as well I saw an old childhood friend, Marie.

Lovingly, I see angels surrounding my parents with love and security, protection from illness and familiar faces.

Amazingly, I sense God’s healing presence in my relationship with many people. Showing me what stuff I need to deal with in my own life and the other stuff that isn’t mine. Oh I have stuff! I need to stay out of other people’s business with God. Get out of the way so that God can do His work.

Gratefully, Jesus loves us all without comparison. We all fall short when compared to God’s glory but Jesus came to be a bridge for us all to know God’s love, forgiveness and grace.

In the depth of sadness, I see God’s hand in action touching me and those around me.

Thank you God for helping walk through my anguish.

Be Epic (my 200th post)

Usually I look for these large moments to propel me forward. I have large emotions, lofty thoughts to go with my tall six foot frame and strong personality.

I have been mulling over my 200th post for awhile now as I knew it was coming soon. The purpose of this blog has always been to help me stay in the moment with my boys. Motherhood can be a tad bit overwhelming at times.

Today is the day for my 200th post and I have to say that we had a giant day today, maybe even epic as some people would describe.

It is the profoundness of the little things that describe epic to me.

Fourteen stairs.
Fourteen hurdles.
Fourteen opportunities for triumph. Fourteen steps I wondered if my mom would take fourteen days ago.

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She did it!

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Be epic today.

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My mom is.

Be Asking For Help

I have a hard time asking for help. Whew, I said it!

Until recently I have viewed asking for help as a sign of my own incompetence or a sign of weakness. Really, I should be able to do it all right?

Now I don’t give a shit. I am completely humbled and gobsmacked by this whole thing.

Yup I haven’t shaved my legs since my mom went into the hospital and I don’t care.

I don’t have the energy to really do more than care for my family, a few close friends, spend time with my mom and pray. Sorry everything else is bonus.

So in a moment of weakness, at least that’s how I perceived it. I sent out an email to ask for help.

And was I ever blown away – people offering to let us stay in their house, hospital toys for the boys, friends stopping in to our new house with new pool toys and special salad dressing, a few treats for me and food: Soups for mom, food for our family visiting, muffins, cookies. And all these treats have been delivered to the hospital. I don’t think this hospital has seen such fine food before!

I am definitely going to ask for help more often. What a blessing! What a way to show love. I have always enjoyed helping others, but being helped isn’t so bad either.

Thanks for blessing our family.

Here is what one of my boot camp bible study buddies dropped off today.

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Lasagna dinner and treats too!

And here are the new pool toys arriving at our new house. Thanks CC and your beautiful blonde.

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