Category Archives: Uncategorized

Be Learning How to KeepYour Foot Out of Your Mouth

Have you ever wanted to know how to keep your foot out of your mouth when someone you know/love is suffering? I read a theory the other day that a friend posted on Facebook. I haven’t been able to get this idea out of my head.

I’m one of those people that loves to put their feet, yes both of them, in their mouth. Sometimes at night, I lay awake and wonder why I said the things that I said. Often an email apology or phone call is on my to do list for the next day.

This theory, called Ring Theory by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman, gives me a framework as my mom heals from
cancer to know who to talk to. I’ve had many pitfalls in the last couple of months talking to people in my ring or the rings above me.
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I sought out the people that were closest to me. These people were my husband and my parents. My sister also became a larger part of our lives at this time and I tried to seek out support from her. At night, I’ve often wondered why these conversations hadn’t gone well! This theory makes everything come full circle. It all makes sense.

Here’s my ring that I have started to work on. It is definitely a work in progress as I ponder those larger rings.

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My understanding of the theory is that you comfort every single person that is in your ring or in one of the smaller rings. You can complain and say whatever you want to anyone that is in a larger ring than yourself.

The Los Angeles times article on this theory had some great examples of people living with breast cancer and suffering from brain aneurysms. If you want to read more take a look at the link below.
Here’s the article!
Thanks for posting this on Facebook Shank! Shank’s other tip was from Dr. Phil a few years ago, “When you know better you do better!” You are on fire girl! Thank for sharing.

Be Choosing

Life is about choices. Every day choices.

Yes, we are not apathetic humans chosen by God to be puppets.

We don’t need to continue in a job that kills our Spirit. We don’t need a new house, car, boat… We don’t need to choose to fill our schedules with stuff. We don’t need to zip here and there not even recognizing the people God has put around us.

Every day we have a choice.

Today:

I choose to look for God in my anguish.

I choose my husband.

I choose to love my children.

I choose the peeps I want to hangout with.

I choose nature.

I choose to love where I am. Right now.

I choose delicious, healthy food.

I choose to move my body, not because I have to, but because I can.

I choose to celebrate all the special moments with gift of my thoughts, time and joy.

I choose to say what I feel and what I want.

I choose simplicity.

I choose forgiveness of those I feel have wronged me.

I choose to live life every day.

I choose hard work. Yup, some days this SAHM stuff ain’t for the faint of heart.

I choose love. Love for my amazing God, my family, my friends, my ‘neighbours’ and for myself.

What will you choose today?

Be Asking For Help

I have a hard time asking for help. Whew, I said it!

Until recently I have viewed asking for help as a sign of my own incompetence or a sign of weakness. Really, I should be able to do it all right?

Now I don’t give a shit. I am completely humbled and gobsmacked by this whole thing.

Yup I haven’t shaved my legs since my mom went into the hospital and I don’t care.

I don’t have the energy to really do more than care for my family, a few close friends, spend time with my mom and pray. Sorry everything else is bonus.

So in a moment of weakness, at least that’s how I perceived it. I sent out an email to ask for help.

And was I ever blown away – people offering to let us stay in their house, hospital toys for the boys, friends stopping in to our new house with new pool toys and special salad dressing, a few treats for me and food: Soups for mom, food for our family visiting, muffins, cookies. And all these treats have been delivered to the hospital. I don’t think this hospital has seen such fine food before!

I am definitely going to ask for help more often. What a blessing! What a way to show love. I have always enjoyed helping others, but being helped isn’t so bad either.

Thanks for blessing our family.

Here is what one of my boot camp bible study buddies dropped off today.

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Lasagna dinner and treats too!

And here are the new pool toys arriving at our new house. Thanks CC and your beautiful blonde.

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Be Getting Ready To Go Home

Wednesday – Day 17 in the hospital for mom and possibly mom’s last day in the hospital.

Bye bye room.

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We can see the light. This afternoon, my sister, M, heads back south to join her girls and C. She has been here the entire 17 days.

Mom “got out on parole” from the hospital and spent a few hours at home today. Here she is enjoying the view from their porch

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Mom has a few hoops to jump through before she is able to go home full time:

– off her oxygen – done!
– bowels moving – awesome!
– able to take medication by mouth – yeah!
– off her IV – working on it today.

Once she is at home, she will continue her chemotherapy as an out patient and prepare for surgery in the big city near M in October then more chemo after that.

Me, I am going to go back to blogging about life with my boys.

Enjoy every day and create many memories with my family and friends in our new home, especially my mom and dad.

We might even get adventurous and put some pictures on our walls.

Be Asking Questions.

I am positive you have heard it before, but when you have a loved one in the hospital you need to advocate for them and ask questions.

I have always believed that kindness kicks butt, but it doesn’t always work in the hospital setting.

I am grateful for all the nurses we have had. But no matter how nice you or the nurses are, you still want to be asking questions. Tons and tons of questions.

I am not going to scare you with any of our near death experiences in the last two weeks nor the exact reason why my hubby Sexy Neck spent a night sleeping in Mom’s room, but I will share this simple example:

On mom’s first day in the hospital, we met with a dietician to help us get mom eating and ready to tackle chemo. We got some information about cancer and diet then we were off or so we thought.

On day FIVE in the hospital, once we arrived on the new ward, one of the nurses picked up this packet that had been sitting on ALL of mom’s food trays for the last FIVE days.

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She asked us, “Are you using this?”
We answered, “No!”
The nurse then went on to tell us the amazing things about this protein powder that had been sitting on 35 different food trays over the last five days. She talked about how important the protein was for preparing mom for chemo. What a missed opportunity!

Be noticing.
Be asking.
Be an advocate.
Be taking your protein powder.
Be mixing it in juice not tea.
Chemo ain’t for wimps.