Category Archives: Parenting

Boys, cancer, DP Challenge, Parenting, Uncategorized

Be Asking Questions

January 2, 2014 Be Enough 1 Comment

There is never a bad question.

We have instilled this concept in our boys. I am not sure how this would work if you have a wee one with the gift of the gab, but for us it has worked. Almost 100% of the time we take time to answer their questions. We try to answer as honestly as we can. Sometimes we simply answer, “I don’t know!”

Friday, December 20th, sitting on Nana and Papa’s couch, we sat as a group. I shared that Nana is going to die. We said we didn’t know when, but that Hospice House is a place where people go to die peacefully.

JC (6 yrs old) wept and curled in our arms. CC (4 yrs old)started asking questions. OC (2 yrs old) stared at us with his wondrous eyes.

Daddy will Nana die?
Does she know if she’s going to die?
Will she get better?
What is cancer anyways?
Why didn’t the 4th chemotherapy work?
How do the little cells do that?
Why can’t the doctors find a cure?
Do they need more money?
Why did they cut off Terry Fox’s leg?
How do you get cancer?
What will happen to Nana’s shoes?
How will we say I love you to Nana when she dies?
Where is heaven?
What is going to happen to Nana’s shoes?

No bad questions.

No good answers.

Sitting in sadness.

cancer, Family, men, Parenting

Be Leaving a Rose from My Rose

December 31, 2013 Be Enough 6 Comments

My husband, Sexy Neck, has always been a rock to me. His tower of strength and stability have always grounded me and sometimes annoyed me.

In the last five months since mom’s diagnosis and now her death, Sexy Neck has not only been a rock, but a sweet, sweet rose.

His words have been velvety rose petal smooth to my soul.

He has been sweet to my mom and has always displayed a deep connection to her that goes beyond my understanding.

Sexy Neck has stood by with class as many things unfolded in and around our family.

Today, he saw the rose from hospice sitting in our van. He said, “Why don’t we take the rose and put it on a x-country ski trail for your mom?” This is exactly what dad, our boys and I needed to hear on this first ski without mom.

We carried the rose on the side of the chariot out to Woodland Bell.

We skied into a sunny meadow, wrote mom’s name in the snow and placed the rose beside a little spruce tree.

Happy New Year to my sweet rose, Sexy Neck, my beautiful boys, my dad, my family, friends and blog readers.

May you have many roses in your life even when you are in the desert and may you stop to smell the roses this year.

35 The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them,
And the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose;
2 It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice,
Even with joy and singing. Isaiah 35:1 & 2

Boys, cancer, Family, Parenting

Be Preparing to Celebrate a Great Life

Aside December 28, 2013 Be Enough 3 Comments

The lights streams in down the lake as I sit at my parents kitchen table.

Dad eats his lunch and adds to our dialogue.

Jamie sits and writes my mom’s eulogy.

Auntie Gail is on the phone to fill in the gaps. Thank God for her great memory.
JC and CC practice memorizing their poem.

Marnie keeps the copious amounts of beautiful flowers and food organized.

Sexy Neck is gathering and testing AV equipment. He is so talented and a pillar of faith.

Me, I walk around in disbelief.
Numb.
Dumbfounded.
I gather photos and memorabilia that represent my mom and her life.
I add what I can, as I love having this time to talk about my beautiful mom.

I am privileged to be walking this journey with such selfless, thoughtful, caring, loving people.

My prayer is that tomorrow God’s love, peace and light will shine on us tomorrow. I pray that my mama would be proud.

See you tomorrow in person and in spirit.

And no I am not going to sing!!

cancer, Family, Parenting

Be Sharing Your Story – Ang

December 21, 2013 Be Enough Leave a comment

This is the first, of I hope many, people who are sharing their personal journey with us through this sacred time with my mama.

Introducing Ang:

I am a guest blogger here today, which is kind of funny since I don’t have a blog but I guess you can call me a guest friend sharing!

I have known Joanna and her family for about 12 years and I would call Joanna one of my dearest closest friends. When she asked me to share a few things about her mom and my own journey I said yes immediately and a few things came to mind, and I hope I can communicate them well here.

I think when we are on the outside perimeter, viewing families going through these impossible things in life we always ask the question of why? And how? And will it be me next? When you see pictures on the blog of this loving mother and wife and friend, totally ransacked by a disease it’s easy to get lost in the devastation. Why now at Christmas, is the question on all of our minds. It has certainly been on mine.

And then my 6 year old daughter came home with this picture today, that she had drawn at school. I smiled, and it makes me smile every time I see it. A fat little pony totally focused on the goal at hand, probably thinking she was in an Olympic ring, like a rock star…but barely clearing the jump!

I thought in that moment of cancer and death and all the yucky parts of life, that come at the worst of times like Christmas, and how we have choices in how we can deal with those massive walls in our path. And I was reminded of two things, first of all we need to do the very best we can with what we’ve been given. Secondly, we need to try our very hardest to clear those jumps and keep moving forward. Because what I see in this picture, when those two things happen, is pure freedom.

May the angels be surrounding you now Nana Gwen and your family. May you feel the peace of God as you clear the jumps and finish well. Amen.

Love always,
A

Boys, cancer, Family, Parenting

Be fighting for life then death

December 19, 2013 Be Enough 14 Comments

Dearest family, friends and blog followers,

I don’t say this lightly nor without the awareness that the words I write can bring emotions, triggers and thoughts.

Yesterday, the surgeon informed as that the surgery was a success but that the cancer had spread throughout mom’s abdomen. It was a mess in there.

Yesterday, we moved from fighting for mom’s life to fighting for mom’s death. Mom does not want to die in the hospital. We do not want her to die in the hospital.

Yesterday, dad and Sexy Neck took a tour of Hospice House. They were overwhelmed with the love, support and homey feeling. They both emphatically expressed that this was the place for mom. They even have a playroom.

Yesterday, we met with the Palliative Care Coordinator we got connected with in the summer through my sister’s diligent connection making.

Here is MM explaining things to mom:

What a lovely, hardworking, caring and strong human being in a nurse uniform. (Reminds us of our midwife!)

Today, we move mom to Hospice House.

Today, we celebrate mom leaving the hospital forever.

Today, we shift our fight for life to relaxing and enjoying time with mom.

Boys, christmas, Family, Parenting

Be Having Some Sick Days

December 14, 2013 Be Enough Leave a comment

Happy fourteenth day of advent. Have you found time to breathe, rest and enjoy the waiting?

We have had an ‘enforced’ rest time.

The stomach flu has ravaged our house likes a forest fire. The only tree standing is Sexy Neck. The rest of us have been flattened.

All I can muster, in this moment, is to share a few photos of life hanging around the house the last two days. (We can’t see mom and dad until we are not contagious.)

JC took a picture of his fort.

OC wanted a picture of his Lego creation.

My couch buddy! Poor CC!

I broke into the Christmas stash to have the boys work on this Lego creation.

Airing out the bedding.
Bye bye sickness.
Thanks for visiting!

Boys, Family, men, Parenting

Be Laughing at What Your Husband Says

December 13, 2013 Be Enough Leave a comment

Happy advent – day number thirteen! Can you believe that there are less than two weeks until Christmas? I love this simple time of preparing.

Today, I have decided to focus on laughter, amidst the vomit (see tomorrow’s post!)

Sexy Neck has a wonderful sense of humour that produces great big belly laughs in our house.

Over the next few weeks leading to Christmas, I hope to:

– be in my body, not a mind with a body trying to follow it.
– breathe
– notice
– laugh*
* I am going to use Sexy Neck to help me with the last one.

Here are a few ditty’s from my hubby to start us off:

“It’s official JC knows more French than me!” (JC is six and we live in a ‘bilingual’ country, French/English)

“I could see buying it if we had two more children to use it afterwards.”

” “You guys look great, but Ron couldn’t you at least comb your hair for the event? Jeesh! Not that I’m jealous you got Gramp’s hair gene or anything!” (To his brothers Christmas work party photo)

“I guess you can’t yell at a child lying in bed singing about Jesus!”

“Boys you need to behave.” says dad while wearing his school bear mascot head.

Boys, Family, Parenting

Be Having a Snow/No Car/God Day

December 12, 2013 Be Enough 2 Comments

Yesterday was our first huge dump of snow this year. We have been waiting.

This is the twelfth day of December and talking on the phone to my friend on the Island down south, I was griping about the fact that we didn’t have any snow.

AND THEN THE FLAKES BEGAN TO FALL!

Thanks for sending the flakes north, D!

The first snow is very significant for our family because it reminds us of our University days and our journey to know Jesus in a personal way. I had a football player friend who implored me to ask God to reveal himself to me. God did and continues to do so every day. I told Sexy Neck this story and four months later, he had a similar experience with God.

It was September 1995, and it was a beautiful fall University day. Steve asked God if he was real and if he was, could it snow the next day. God loved Sexy Neck so much and guess what, it snowed. Sexy Neck was floored. He couldn’t believe it! He then implored God and said, “God, I need you to show yourself again tomorrow by making is snow.” AND IT DID! Then it didn’t snow for another TWO MONTHS!

God is great! Personal. Real. Alive. He loves us all.

We spent this first snow day at home together hanging out. No car. No schedule. Just time to watch the flakes, tobaggon, create snow angels, make train sets, eat and just BE.

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30	31

"Be" ENOUGH