Lately, I have an incredible appreciation for clouds. Their beauty, shapes and movement are awe inspiring and wondrous for me.
Tonight, we were driving to Sexy Necks bear school to watch some ‘old’ friends coach volleyball.
We saw these clouds.
JC exclaimed, “It looks like the entrance to Jesus’s castle!”
Apparently clouds are speaking to more than me these days.
Every day, I now live in birth and death.
Birth of a new day every day, death of my old ways that don’t serve me anymore.
Birth of a new relationship with my parents, especially my mom and death of a past that I desperately want back.
Birth of trying new things, death of letting old things go.
Birth of a freer life and death of old fears that held me back.
Birth of new patterns, death to the same old path.
Birth of new fresh, real relationships, death of relationships that are no longer anything.
Birth to a new big, bustling city, death of a small town that we lived in for almost thirteen years.
Birth of living in the moment, death to planning and expectations.
Birth to new challenges and opportunities every day, death to a stake, fence-sitting life.
God says that there is a season for everything.
◄ Ecclesiastes 3 ►
New International Version
A Time for Everything
“1There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
I am looking forward to a new season soon, hopefully next spring.
What do you think God?
I have asked God to help me with new friends in our big city. I feel tired!
I have been very fortunate to have made very empathetic, thoughtful friends in our old town down the highway. Many have visited, most keep in touch. This is enough. I am blessed with friends.
I am happy to drop my son off and observe those around me. Normally, I am the one trying to connect and engage with others.
I am content to allow my son’s teacher to connect with him without my input or guidance or even an introduction. I will meet her at parent-teacher conferences in October.
I am okay with walking along and watching my beautiful boys beside me.
But this is not the end of my story.
Two Fridays ago, I took the boys to the library. There was a woman there with two boys. Her youngest son was hanging around my boys. We had a brief conversation.
At dinner (the same day!), I told my husband that I met a very interesting woman this morning at the library.
After dinner, we went for a bike ride downtown (see here) and who did we run into on the ride back? The woman from the library, Andie. We met her husband and saw her boys again.
Last night, we went for a walk in the rain. We were walking down the path in the downpour and there was a woman walking towards us. I didn’t recognize here, but she said, “Hi Joanna!” It was Andie without her glasses on.
I wonder where we will meet again.
God is so good. It was amazing to see a familiar face.
Side note: I made a joke awhile back with my friend “D” that any new friends I meet will have to have wet hair. I know funny, but I am just into real people that walk in the rain and don’t worry about getting their hair wet.
Haha God. You truly are omniscient.
In the depth of despair, the busyness of my mind and body I carried throughout my previous days have been stripped away.
The fog that covered my eyes has been lifted, I guess anguish will do that for you.
Gently, I see God tapping me and the people around me on their shoulders, asking, “Do you see me at work?” Interesting on the first day of school, I saw a women carrying this book that I was given while my mom was in the hospital.
Also on the first day of school, I walked into the schoolyard with our realtor who helped us buy our house as well I saw an old childhood friend, Marie.
Lovingly, I see angels surrounding my parents with love and security, protection from illness and familiar faces.
Amazingly, I sense God’s healing presence in my relationship with many people. Showing me what stuff I need to deal with in my own life and the other stuff that isn’t mine. Oh I have stuff! I need to stay out of other people’s business with God. Get out of the way so that God can do His work.
Gratefully, Jesus loves us all without comparison. We all fall short when compared to God’s glory but Jesus came to be a bridge for us all to know God’s love, forgiveness and grace.
In the depth of sadness, I see God’s hand in action touching me and those around me.
Thank you God for helping walk through my anguish.
Our wee ones see everything. Parenting sure is caught not taught.
Tonight, we arrived home at 9pm after visiting Nana and Papa. I knew that Sexy Neck had work to do to get ready for school tomorrow.
JC was picking out his clothes to wear for his first day of Grade One. He informed us that he wanted to hook them up on a hook just like Daddy. (We didn’t know that Jackson had seen him choose his clothes at night.).
Here’s Daddy’s clothes ready for tomorrow:
Ten minutes later, the boys had their own hooks for their clothes.
What a man!
Usually I look for these large moments to propel me forward. I have large emotions, lofty thoughts to go with my tall six foot frame and strong personality.
I have been mulling over my 200th post for awhile now as I knew it was coming soon. The purpose of this blog has always been to help me stay in the moment with my boys. Motherhood can be a tad bit overwhelming at times.
Today is the day for my 200th post and I have to say that we had a giant day today, maybe even epic as some people would describe.
It is the profoundness of the little things that describe epic to me.
Fourteen stairs.
Fourteen hurdles.
Fourteen opportunities for triumph. Fourteen steps I wondered if my mom would take fourteen days ago.
She did it!
Be epic today.
My mom is.
Before I had my boys, I was never one to frequent the skateboard park.
As I stood at the park today, I realize I was afraid of them because they were an unknown entity. I had a lot of fears as I have gone through my life, but now with mom’s cancer diagnosis, time in the hospital and journey home, these fears are insignificant.
Today, I chose to take my boys to the skateboard park. And not only did I get to see my boys rip around the park in the rain, but God showed me His sovereign love.
God’s love was expressed through the boys freedom to try new things, the grace they give each other when something goes ‘wrong’, and the joy that flows through them as they zip around the park.
I don’t doubt that these words were put down in the bottom of the skateboard ramp were put there for me on this day. I also don’t doubt that the only way I can walk through these days is because of the prayers of the saints that walk this earth with me – thank you my saints!
“Faith. Hope. Love. You are loved!” Thanks for the reminder.
"Be" ENOUGH 