Be In Some Sort of Book/Foot Club

Four years ago I decided I wanted to develop deeper relationships with a few women surrounding me. I decided that I was going to start a modern-day quilting bee which is formally known as a book club.

I have just arrived home from book club and I have to introduce you to these four real women. I think there should be a television series about them.

The first cast of character in this lovely book club that I look forward to every month is:

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• Princess P. She’s the sage one of the group. Her laughter could set off a tsunami because it is so wide and deep and contagious. Princess P is one of those people that is a deep friend. I worked beside P.P. in my first couple of years of teaching. Since then she is always been a good friend to me, Sexy Neck and all three of my boys. In fact one of the treasured thing that my boys have are the quilts that she has made each of them. She’s married to a smart businessman and public servant. She has raised beautiful, grounded and independent twins and a third child who loves life, her family, friends and firefighters.

The second cast in our crew of book lovers is:

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• Dreadlock D. D is an early 30’s. She loves everyone, well except her neighbour by the same name. She is an inspiring person who loves to cook, care for her two sweet children, her Electrician husband and the extended family. She does not want to be a lunchtime supervisor even though that might be in her future one day, but she will definitely be an inspiration to many people no matter what she does. She’s one of those people that is always there for you no matter what. She can light up a room with her humour and a few F-bombs thrown in for good measure.

The third character we will call PTP

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• I have known PTP since I first moved to Vtown thirteen years ago. She has been a steadfast friend,pre-kids,during kids, during labor,pregnancy and all sorts of stages and crazies. She is an athlete with fortitude and strength that you wouldn’t believe. She is a paddling physiotherapist. She is a previous Ballerina turned rower extraordinaire now runner, cross-country skier and I could go on. She is a fierce athlete and an amazing friend. PTP takes care of her amazing kids, her Educator husband, and the dog. She’s a pretty incredible, thoughtful and caring person.

The last character in our beautiful bookclub is:

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• Dr. K. She not only takes care of our eyes, she takes care of her family too. Her husband loves planes, trains and automobiles. (Okay maybe the trains should be replaced with helicopters.) She encourages all his passions, takes care of their wonderful Kindergarten son as well as the dog. Kim is also an incredible friend. She has provided more food, encouraging words and time during this cancer, torn Achilles, sickness, pregnancy, childbirth stage in my life. She is also pretty incredible neighbor and I wish that we had never moved off the street. In the midst of great Hawaiian themed parties, hockey and exercising she manages to keep everything in balance, especially her relationships.

This cast of four beautiful women started off as a book club but have become to me like four humongous feet! Yup, I said FEET.

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They are all different shapes and sizes. They have helped me stay standing and even walk through this time. Sometimes I have needed them to be my own feet and sometimes they have walked beside me nudging me along. Sometimes we all get a little smelly, especially me, but no matter what feet are very very important and I cannot tell you how important these women have become to me as I go through this time of moving cities, new beginnings and new relationships and really a new life through this disease called cancer.

These women are also like feet because
they have five toes sometimes all going in different directions with their family, their work, their friends, hobbies (do we have hobbies?), and their dreams and they managed to somehow always stay ‘attached’ and grounded no matter what’s going on. They are able to be real about their marriages and their children and what it is really like to be a mother and a woman in the 21st-century.

I’m so grateful for these beautiful feet/Book Clubbers and I’m so grateful that we can spend this time together and I can’t wait to see what the year entails for all of us.

Now make sure you have a glass of wine, some good appetizers and a good book, but most importantly be in a “Club”!

PS. We skyped with a real live author tonight at book club. Did you know that authors did that? We didn’t. This author was a force. Post coming soon.

Be Going to PT Conferences/Orientation

Today was Parent-Teacher Interviews/Orientation at JC’s elementary school.

We loved it! It was not the usual whip in, whip out for a ten minute conference with the teacher.

Today was a leisurely hour where the teacher made a presentation to a group of parents. Then JC got to guide us through different areas of the class: his desk, reading bin, artwork, dictee word stations etc. Lastly, each parent talked with the teacher about their child’s goals.

JC’s were:
1. Ignore his teacher. He has his antennae tuned to her.
2. Work more slowly and he could be exceeding expectations. Oh, JC lives being first.

Here are a few samples of his work: yes, he is taking French Immersion.

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This self-evaluation JC did with his teacher was brilliantly insightful. A self-evaluation where the student coloured in yellow highlighter and the teacher was in blue. Anytime the student and teacher were in agreement the highlighter turned green. Brilliant!

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My personal favourite. I cried!

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Be Living In Godly Isolation

I stand.

On my own.

I wait.

For someone to say something.

For someone to smile, to notice, to see this shattered human among them.

I stand.

In the unknown.

I wait.

For someone to tell me something.

For someone to tell me it will be okay, mom will be healed and I will have my best friend back.

I stand.

Not knowing.

I wait.

For someone to show me something.

For someone to show me why I am living here in isolation with my boys, away from my parents, from my support, from the place I am ‘known’.

I stand.

I understand.

I wait for no one.

No human can answer my questions.

No one can be enough, no one can help me comprehend or bring me moment-by-moment comfort.

I stand.

I am not alone.

I wait.

God is my strength.
My Someone.
My everlasting peace and joy.
My understanding.
My known.
He is more than enough in my isolation from family and friends.
Thank you Jesus.

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Be Turning a Corner

Mom has officially turned a corner. No more pain/nausea. She is getting out and about. She came for a short visit today. She is eating and drinking. It truly is the little things in life! October 31st is mom’s surgery date.

Oh ya, I also have something to share. When you ‘turn the corner’ into our dining room/kitchen, look at this great hat rack we put up from Ikea:

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I love this simple rack! It holds all the boys knapsacks. There are cubbies for them to put their home reading/crafts in. We have even been using the top to keep our precious Lego creations safe.

I just love turning a corner!

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Sidenote:
I am not sure if anyone feels schizophrenic about this post or not, but it definitely shed some light for me. I was writing about my mom turning a corner which led me to thinking about our new rack around the corner.

Every day, I live in the reality of my mom’s journey through cancer. Every day I struggle to ‘feel’ anything but sadness and loss. It is the little things like this silly backpack rack that keep my chin up and my feet moving forward.

Everything else (mom’s cancer, this move, some relationships, new neighbours) I can’t put into an “organized box”!

Thank God for God. I’m holding tightly my Lord!

Be ‘Moving’ Backwards to go Forward

My counsellor has been working with me to let go of the Western ideal that we move from point A to point B never to return to ‘old stuff’.

When I continue to go over this old ground in my mind, I feel like a failure, I feel shame and I feel mad.

My inner dialogue goes something like this:
“What this again? Seriously Joanna. Are you really going to have this same conversation again? Are we really going down this path? How could this happen again?”

Thanks to my counsellor, I have shifted this A to B mentally to be more of a deepening spiral. Like a tornado funnel.

Oh I like this analogy because sometimes I have me some wind blowing around me!

Yes, I am going to go over the same road again but I am going to be in a different place on my path, a deeper place. (I am almost 40 you know!).

Last night, was a huge mental shift downward into my deepening spiral.

For weeks I have looked for a once per week hockey program that we could do in Ktown. Do you think I could find one? Nope! Minor hockey, that wants to devour families lives with their three times per week practices/games, is the show in this town.

Sooo….
We decided to take JC out of Grade One forty-five minutes early and drive the boys sixty kilometres back to the town we just moved from so that the boys could play hockey.

They are back at the rink they know.

CC has the same coach he had last year.
Papa was on the ice with CC.
JC got to move up a level.
He gets his own jersey this year.
I get to see old friends each week.
AND THE VERY BEST PART, NANA CAME TO WATCH. Can you see me up and jumping around?

It was amazing night of going backwards. JC’s teacher was supportive of our idea, dad laced up his skates and even went for a morning skate to get ready, lastly mom looked me square in the eyes and said, “I am really glad that you are coming here for hockey!”

Anything for you Mama! Now if only I could meet your request for a new body!

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JC waiting to give his brother a high five before his turn on the ice.

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Papa and CC working together.

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OC watching the action.

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Nana is on the right in the toque.

Sometimes you need to go backwards to move forward. Lesson learned. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper.