Tag Archives: God

Boys, Construction, Family

Be Springing Another Leak

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We have sprung another leak!

This morning we woke up to a flurry of activity around our driveway that started spewing water again yesterday.

Two months ago, we had our first leak.

Now this:
7:00am Visit from the City workers.
7:08am Sexy Neck in his robe moving the cars out of the driveway. (I should have got a picture of that!)
7:30am Pumper truck shows up to start sucking the earth. (21st century version of a shovel!)

The boys are so excited. Me, I ain’t too sure. This is a little bit of a lot lately.

Enjoy our view:

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Update: Leak is fixed. It was our neighbours line this time around.

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Boys, cancer, Christianity, Family, Parenting

Be Living In Godly Isolation

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I stand.

On my own.

I wait.

For someone to say something.

For someone to smile, to notice, to see this shattered human among them.

I stand.

In the unknown.

I wait.

For someone to tell me something.

For someone to tell me it will be okay, mom will be healed and I will have my best friend back.

I stand.

Not knowing.

I wait.

For someone to show me something.

For someone to show me why I am living here in isolation with my boys, away from my parents, from my support, from the place I am ‘known’.

I stand.

I understand.

I wait for no one.

No human can answer my questions.

No one can be enough, no one can help me comprehend or bring me moment-by-moment comfort.

I stand.

I am not alone.

I wait.

God is my strength.
My Someone.
My everlasting peace and joy.
My understanding.
My known.
He is more than enough in my isolation from family and friends.
Thank you Jesus.

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Family, Flexibility, Jesus Christ

Be Waiting for Friends

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I have asked God to help me with new friends in our big city. I feel tired!

I have been very fortunate to have made very empathetic, thoughtful friends in our old town down the highway. Many have visited, most keep in touch. This is enough. I am blessed with friends.

I am happy to drop my son off and observe those around me. Normally, I am the one trying to connect and engage with others.

I am content to allow my son’s teacher to connect with him without my input or guidance or even an introduction. I will meet her at parent-teacher conferences in October.

I am okay with walking along and watching my beautiful boys beside me.

But this is not the end of my story.

Two Fridays ago, I took the boys to the library. There was a woman there with two boys. Her youngest son was hanging around my boys. We had a brief conversation.

At dinner (the same day!), I told my husband that I met a very interesting woman this morning at the library.

After dinner, we went for a bike ride downtown (see here) and who did we run into on the ride back? The woman from the library, Andie. We met her husband and saw her boys again.

Last night, we went for a walk in the rain. We were walking down the path in the downpour and there was a woman walking towards us. I didn’t recognize here, but she said, “Hi Joanna!” It was Andie without her glasses on.

I wonder where we will meet again.

God is so good. It was amazing to see a familiar face.

Side note: I made a joke awhile back with my friend “D” that any new friends I meet will have to have wet hair. I know funny, but I am just into real people that walk in the rain and don’t worry about getting their hair wet.

Haha God. You truly are omniscient.

Boys, cancer, Christianity, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Seeing God’s Hand.

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In the depth of despair, the busyness of my mind and body I carried throughout my previous days have been stripped away.

The fog that covered my eyes has been lifted, I guess anguish will do that for you.

Gently, I see God tapping me and the people around me on their shoulders, asking, “Do you see me at work?” Interesting on the first day of school, I saw a women carrying this book that I was given while my mom was in the hospital.

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Also on the first day of school, I walked into the schoolyard with our realtor who helped us buy our house as well I saw an old childhood friend, Marie.

Lovingly, I see angels surrounding my parents with love and security, protection from illness and familiar faces.

Amazingly, I sense God’s healing presence in my relationship with many people. Showing me what stuff I need to deal with in my own life and the other stuff that isn’t mine. Oh I have stuff! I need to stay out of other people’s business with God. Get out of the way so that God can do His work.

Gratefully, Jesus loves us all without comparison. We all fall short when compared to God’s glory but Jesus came to be a bridge for us all to know God’s love, forgiveness and grace.

In the depth of sadness, I see God’s hand in action touching me and those around me.

Thank you God for helping walk through my anguish.

Boys, Construction, Family

Be Leaking

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I am positive I could glean many water metaphors especially in light that God is our living water. But really I am just overwhelmed.

It is never good when you see and hear this coming out of your driveway.

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And it really isn’t good when you see all these vehicles pull up – vacuum truck, digger, equipment truck, supervisor truck and even the dump truck waiting down the road.

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But our boys love this – monster wheels on the digger, the huge vacuum truck, the biiiig hole, shovels and cool city worker costumes.

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Happy labour day and thanks to these city workers for fixing our leak.

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Here’s our own construction worker on his way to work.

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Boys, cancer, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Surrounded By God At The Skateboard Park

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Before I had my boys, I was never one to frequent the skateboard park.

As I stood at the park today, I realize I was afraid of them because they were an unknown entity. I had a lot of fears as I have gone through my life, but now with mom’s cancer diagnosis, time in the hospital and journey home, these fears are insignificant.

Today, I chose to take my boys to the skateboard park. And not only did I get to see my boys rip around the park in the rain, but God showed me His sovereign love.

God’s love was expressed through the boys freedom to try new things, the grace they give each other when something goes ‘wrong’, and the joy that flows through them as they zip around the park.

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I don’t doubt that these words were put down in the bottom of the skateboard ramp were put there for me on this day. I also don’t doubt that the only way I can walk through these days is because of the prayers of the saints that walk this earth with me – thank you my saints!

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“Faith. Hope. Love. You are loved!” Thanks for the reminder.

cancer, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Rooted

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My mom has had her pain and nausea under control for the last two days.

On Friday, she was moved into a private room on the women’s and children’s floor in the new hospital tower. It like a hotel compared to the hell hole she was in before. (Sorry I have racked my brain and I can’t think of another descriptor for her four person room in an incredibly busy ward.)

I am starting to move out of flight and fright status or “game face” as my sister and I call it. I feel my body relaxing. I am feeling my body again. Man I am hungry.

The exceptional nurses on this floor have everything under control. Our amazing angel Dr. Daniels has been checking on mom. Yesterday she visited three times.

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Dr. Daniels talking with mom and dad this morning.

Moms blood clot in her lung is dissolving, her bowels are moving and she even walked down the hall today.

My boys feel loved surrounded by all their cousins, aunts and uncles even though their mama is at the hospital many hours and is a tad bit distracted and teary.

God is good.

But none of this makes sense.

We continue to live in shades of grey, but I continue to reach down into the roots God has established for me in His word and with my family and friends.

” And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Bring on the chemo.

May we all know the fullness of God and just how wide, long, deep and high Christ’s love is.