Category Archives: cancer

cancer, Family

Be Chasing Pain (again)

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This morning, we are working hard at getting the pain under control. Mom is on a post surgery pump where every 5 minutes she has to push a pump to get the meds. We are praying for some breakthrough.

The surgery went well, they were able to bypass the current bowel obstruction. The cancer mass is quite large.

I will try to write more later as I process the information from the surgeon. I didn’t want to leave you hanging. You are holding us up in prayer. You are helping us walk, stay focused on mom/dad/ and keeping me upright.

“Though we walk through the valley, we have no fear!”. My summary of Psalm 23.

Mom has been so thirsty the last few days. She is not able to drink water yet, but she is enjoying some ice chips.

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Mom and dad hanging together.

My sister has sent a Christmas present each day til Christmas. These are the highlights of mom’s day.

Here is today’s gift (Mom even got up the energy to say cheese for the photo!):

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She is such a strong, thoughtful, determined woman! Love you Mama!

cancer, Family

Be Waiting for Surgery

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Waiting, waiting, waiting. It is a waiting game.

We wait for the doctor, we wait to hear about the surgery time, we wait to know about mom’s prognosis.

In our waiting, we sit in sadness, thinking, pondering, wondering. What will be next?

We hear the fan overhead, mom’s IV drip, mom’s deep breathing, the lady coughing next door, the slap of shoes walking down the hall, the click of a door.

I see beautiful Australia photos on the wall, dad rubbing mom’s sore hips, , mom’s lemon lip soothers, my beautiful lunch brought by a friend.

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I feel held up through prayer, thoughts and love.

I soak up mom’s beautiful smiles and dad’s many tears.

Surgery scheduled for 4:00. They are trying to move mom to make room for someone else. Really? Going fight!! NOW they tell me they are trying to move her for mom’s benefit so they can get to know her before surgery. Then the charge nurse told me this is a maternity, children’s floor. I corrected her and told her it was for women and children. Oh she was reaching for straws. We are in interesting times.

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Mama resting in the afternoon sun!

cancer, Family

Be Hoping for a Christmas Miracle

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Mom is resting tonight on Women’s and Children’s. Today, we had a devastating and sweet day as a family.

It is always sweet to look into mom’s eyes, rub her sore hips and hear her voice. Mom never complains through it all. Just asks nicely for her pain medication and often waits patiently. She is very eagerly looking forward to a nice drink of water….

Now into the devastating part.

Mom had blood work and CAT scan. It showed a mass in abdomen, enlarged lymph nodes (since last Scan three weeks ago), bowel obstruction, kidney/uterers partial blockage and some veins blocked. Red blood cell is at 90 and white count is elevated.

The chemo #4 didn’t shrink the cancer. In fact, a tumour has grown over seven centimetres in the last weeks. The oncologist said, “The cancer has changed in how it is acting. It is growing faster.” (the definition of faster I am not sure about.) She has a tube in her nose to drain out her fluid until she gets surgery for her bowel obstruction. She is thirsty. I pray God would be her living water.

Yup, to top it off this bugger of a tumour is causing a bowel obstruction. Tomorrow or Wednesday, mom will have surgery to relieve this blockage.

We are praying for a miracle. That the surgeon will skillfully fix mom’s blockage, she will have a restful post-operation room and that the oncologists will find the right chemotherapy to kick this bugger of a cancer into remission.

The sweetest moment I saved for last, the boys came to say goodnight to Nana. “Wuv you Nana!”

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It was a hard decision to leave Nana but I am hanging out with Papa tonight. I leave mom in God’s hands.

I gave my kiss on the forehead to mom and left her in the hands of the very capable nurses on fourth floor.

I love you mama! Love. Love. Love.

Boys, cancer, Family

Be ‘Conquering’ Your Pain

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Today, I am pondering pain. We all got it somewhere, sometimes.

Today, I got me some pain watching my Mama in pain.

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Sitting beside mom in her ER hospital bed, looking at her scrunched up chin, hands that can’t relax and toes that need to dance now that is some pain.

Mom has been a warrior when it comes to pain management. She tries to take the minimal amount of medication with thoughtful purpose. She doesn’t want to take too much for too long! But even she sometimes can’t ‘conquer’ her pain. Sometimes we all need a little help!

Today, mom made the decision to travel in style via ambulance to get easily into the Emergency Room in Vtown. She said the ride was a bit bumpy lying in the back over those wheel wells. Then, she waited patiently for most of the day to hear that she would be admitted into the hospital. They have her pain managed intravenously and she is starting to relax in this noisy place. Whew!

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Sexy Neck sent me some interesting reading from the Mayo clinic while I was hanging out with Mama. It is great information about cancer patients and pain. Just a little light reading. 😉

This week, I read a quote in a book that went a little something like this:

We can sit in our pain now and notice it or we can deal with it later. But, we will have to deal with the pain sometime.

My other quote for today: “The well is deep, the scoop strong, and the grip even stronger. Holding on to holding on.”

Noticing.

Strength.

Sitting.

Deepness.

Conquering by being present.

Devastation.

Pain.

F*ck you cancer.

Apparently, I got me some anger today too!

Fifteenth Day of advent and I threw out an F-word.

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PS. M, if you are reading this. All the balls are still in the air. Costco shopping is still suspended. We got our peeps in line. Three week cycle unfolds on the weekend. Trying to contact the other M for pain plan. Having difficulty. Mom will be here a few days. Chemo may be postponed.

Boys, cancer, christmas

Be A Great Friend to my Parents (Advent Day 5)

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Happy fifth day of advent. What a beautiful waiting time we are enjoying.

Today, we spent the day in Vernon with my parents. We were blessed to have a visit with our great family friend, Mrs.S.

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She came to lighten and brighten mom and dad’s day. She told wonderful stories about her grandchildren, and activities at home. Exactly what mom needed.

Yesterday, mom and dad got a great surprise from a friend from PG that now lives in Vtown. She dropped off a batch of gingerbread cookies, icing and decorations for mom to do with the boys. Every Christmas she has decorated gingerbread cookies with our boys. Here was Mrs. E’s note:

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As, I sit on this fifth day of advent I ponder friendship. I think of my mom and dad and the comfort from friends that they have known for a long time. These friends have helped her tremendously through letters, photos, flowers, food and short visits. Mom and dad are very fortunate to have incredible friends.

My only wish for this fifth day of advent as I ponder friendship is that we could add another “F” word to this day – food. I wish we could find something that mom wants to eat. Mom has lost another ten pounds since her surgery. She is down to 131 pounds. Whew, bring on food, friendship and the fifth day of advent.