Today, I am pondering pain. We all got it somewhere, sometimes.

Today, I got me some pain watching my Mama in pain.

Sitting beside mom in her ER hospital bed, looking at her scrunched up chin, hands that can’t relax and toes that need to dance now that is some pain.

Mom has been a warrior when it comes to pain management. She tries to take the minimal amount of medication with thoughtful purpose. She doesn’t want to take too much for too long! But even she sometimes can’t ‘conquer’ her pain. Sometimes we all need a little help!

Today, mom made the decision to travel in style via ambulance to get easily into the Emergency Room in Vtown. She said the ride was a bit bumpy lying in the back over those wheel wells. Then, she waited patiently for most of the day to hear that she would be admitted into the hospital. They have her pain managed intravenously and she is starting to relax in this noisy place. Whew!

Sexy Neck sent me some interesting reading from the Mayo clinic while I was hanging out with Mama. It is great information about cancer patients and pain. Just a little light reading. 😉

This week, I read a quote in a book that went a little something like this:

We can sit in our pain now and notice it or we can deal with it later. But, we will have to deal with the pain sometime.

My other quote for today: “The well is deep, the scoop strong, and the grip even stronger. Holding on to holding on.”

Noticing.

Strength.

Sitting.

Deepness.

Conquering by being present.

Devastation.

Pain.

F*ck you cancer.

Apparently, I got me some anger today too!

Fifteenth Day of advent and I threw out an F-word.

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PS. M, if you are reading this. All the balls are still in the air. Costco shopping is still suspended. We got our peeps in line. Three week cycle unfolds on the weekend. Trying to contact the other M for pain plan. Having difficulty. Mom will be here a few days. Chemo may be postponed.