Monthly Archives: December 2014

Boys, christmas, God

Be Making and Doing

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After my seminar on surviving the holidays while grieving, I feel free.

I live.

Breathe.

I have.

Freedom.

To choose.

My boys and I sat down. We talked about what we love to do and make over the Christmas season. We talked about many people as well as cookies, puzzles, decorating trees, Jesus’s birthday, sledding, skating, singing and advent calendars filled with chocolate. The most interesting thing is not once was a present or gift mentioned. Not once!

IMG_7330-4.JPGOur Christmas traditions have begun in our new home, one year later than planned but with freedom to choose what we want and my mom’s traditions to carry on.

Quilted tree skirt.

Advent calendars.

Christmas music.

Decorating gingerbread.

Personalized Christmas decorations.

Lights.

Candles.

Love.

Thanks mom. You live on through your amazing thoughtfulness, incredible creativity and pure love for us all.

Joy and grief.

Interconnected.

Mixing together.

In all we make and do.

christmas, Family, Grief

Be A Man – Part V

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I love my man! We have ‘grown up’ together, and lived more than half our lives together.

For today, I will leave it at that because I have a Christmas ditty to share.

Last night at my grief seminar, they talked about family traditions and taking the time to re-evaluate what we do at Christmas time.

This afternoon I applied this by talking to the boys about what they really love to do at Christmas. Our youngest loved cookies, our five year old said stockings and our oldest said ‘tree’. I asked what he meant. He said that he would like to have a tree and decorate it.

In previous years, we would drive out of town to a family tree farm, have a play in the snow, some hot chocolate and cut down a tree. I ask the boys if they wanted to go to the tree farm and they emphatically yelled, “No!”. They just wanted a tree.

No commercial break here, as in steps our hero…. My man is driving home from work, we call him and ask him on speaker phone, “Dada, can you bring us a Christmas tree?” No questions asked he says, “I will do my best!”

Only thirty minutes later, Sexy Neck shows up like this:

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And the does this:

IMG_7279.JPGAnd also this:

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Creating blessed family traditions.

One unexpected day at a time.

With my hardworking, flexible man.

And what a man he is!

Family, Grief

Be an Overcomer

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There are some things in my life that bring me to a full sweaty mess.

There are many more things that bring me to my knees in a puddle of tears or a need to vomit.

Tonight it was tears.

I went back to Hospice House where my mom died, with dad at her side, on December 26th.

I felt a pull to go back, but also a humbling fear that brought me to tears. I knew that I needed to do this for myself. I knew I needed to overcome my overwhelming feelings of grief and love, despair and compassion that Hospice House brings up for me.

I drove my car north followed by a bright, clear moon and clean roads, as I did many times last fall visiting mom and dad.

I arrived at Hospice House.

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I entered the very familiar building and went to a chair to await the seminar about grief and the holidays. I tried not to look too hard, but it was the same.

Beautiful spaces

Christmas decorations

Warmth

Love

Healing

I sat. I cried. I listened to great strategies on Christmas in the midst of grief.

I wrote a card with my mom’s name on it and placed it on the memory tree.

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I had some juice and cookies and took a wander down the hall to room number eight.

Yup, it’s still there.

Yup, mom still isn’t.

Unless she’s now a man. A bald-headed one.

Nope, no mom here on earth.

A checked out the fish tank down the hall.

I walked back to the living room and put another name on the tree for my Auntie Gail. I remembered her putting her son, Michael, on the memory tree last Christmas. My cousin was killed in a motor vehicle accident many years ago. I put Michael’s tag on the tree and told him how much his mom loves him.

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And then I walked out.

An Overcomer of my emotions.

An Overcomer of fear.

An Overcomer of doing the hard stuff.

Overcome.

Overcame.

Overcomer.