Every day change occurs.

Inside and outside of myself.

Whether I like it or not.

Seasons change.

People change.

Decisions are made.

Babies are born.

People die.

I am not where I was or who I was a year ago even though I relive last year every day.

Surgery for mom.

Hospital trips.

Watching her in pain.

Watching her die and not even knowing it.

Now I know.

Now I see.

Now I feel.

The numbness is gone.

I live in unbearable pain every day.

Fatigue-inducing.

Gut-wrenching.

Leg-weakening.

Pain.

BUT….

I also live with unimaginable gratitude every day.

Life-embracing.

Life-giving.

God-loving.

Gratitude.

The gift of grief!

I soak in my book club women’s smiles, ideas, disagreements and laughter.

I slow down and look.

Really look.

The ability to see and feel the autumn leaves changing is a time to rejoice.

Being able to walk under a bright red umbrella of leaves makes me stop.
Listening to the scrunch, crunch, munch of leaves under three year old OC’s tires as he madly pedals his two wheel bike makes me smile and giggle.

And playing in the leaves with my boys is one of the sweetest moments in these last deep, dark weeks.

What will you notice today?

Who will you choose to spend your time with?

The gift of life!

Choice.

Noticing.

Relationships.

Grief.

Gratitude.

Life.