Be Asking Me How My Christmas Was

Ah, dear friends, my heart aches tonight.

My heart aches for my dad who has lost his wife. His retired plans shattered.

My mind hurts for my children who will not be able to experience my mom’s continual thoughtfulness, laughter and excitement for birthdays, back to school and activities.

My body is numb thinking about our future without my mom.

BUT today it also hurts for a lovely woman God has brought into our lives through our children’s schools.

We moved in the summer to KCity, the next day mom was diagnosed with cancer, 5 hospital visits, about 27 days overall in the hospital and mom dying on Boxing Day sums up the last five months. Ah ya, also must add in unpacking a new house, finding activities for the boys, where to get stamps, two weeks of pneumonia for me plus a family bout of stomach flu.

Back to today! S, the lovely lady works at JC’s school. I ran into her today as i went into the main building to drop off a cheque. She was her usual bubbly self and she threw out, “How was your Christmas?”

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My mind stopped. My throat went dry. I thought to myself, am I going to be honest or give the canned answer of “Fine, how was yours?”

I looked at her genuine smile and realized only the truth would do. I answered, “Not great! My mom died!” Her empathy was immediate and caring. She rolled with my answer and didn’t flee (like my neighbours have been doing).

She provided a moment to sit with me in my grief. What a gift from a very lovely woman.

Thank you S! I hope I haven’t instilled a fear in her asking how people’s Christmas’s were.

3 thoughts on “Be Asking Me How My Christmas Was”

  1. Hey Joanna- I have to admit I was acting like one of ” those” friends. Please forgive me for that. I didn’t know how to handle approaching you about your mom. I can’t even imagine what you have been through. I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and if you ever just need to talk I will be there! I’m am so amazed by your constant, continuous faith! You got this girl! Sorry again for my ignorance

    1. Hi Kristin, I appreciate your honesty. I also appreciate that I don’t have to talk about my mom all the time. I have a supportive husband, my dad, a wise counsellor and sage friends to try to find peace in what happened with my mom. I appreciate being a mom with you talking about kids and working out!

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