Tag Archives: things

Boys, Family, Grief

Be Living with Memories

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Memories have been sliding down my cheeks more often these days. In the quiet moments, when the boys talk of their beloved Nana and when I witness my dad’s own tears. I still cannot make ‘sense’ of this new existence without mom. It is completely unbelievably real. The living with ONLY memories is bringing me to my knees. This is neither good nor bad, it just is.

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I have the privilege of being on the front line of receiving mom’s things as dad is ready to let them go. First it was food in the cupboard then mom’s cosmetics, then shoes, jackets and now her clothes. I readily take these beautiful things with tears in my eyes. The memories of mom wearing the clothes and seeing things she had purchased to wear this spring that I am living RIGHT NOW is very difficult to comprehend. (Two biking shirts in particular brought tears to my eyes.).

Here is batman (aka CC) pointing to the two boxes of spring clothes I have of mom’s:

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Unfolding.

Folding.

Memories.

Laying down.

Sitting in it.

Sitting with.

Memories.

As mom’s clothes sit at one end of our unfinished basement, I have been sorting through our boxes of memories at the other end on my newly painted white shelf. What does one do with old yearbooks, jerseys, trophies… Are my children going to want these things? Do I want my children to be going through them. Perhaps my work now is to make space for them to create their own memories.

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Unpacking.

Packing.

Memories.

Letting go.

Giving freedom to it.

Providing space for.

New memories.

Christianity, Construction, Family, Jesus Christ

Be Loving People, Use Things

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I used to drive by this church every day.   The quotes they put on their front billboard always fascinate me.

This quote made me want to weep.

When I first saw this sign I felt incredibly sad.  I was in a place of feeling like a discarded  “thing”.  As we are moving, certain friends have fallen away.  See this blog.

Two weeks later, I saw this quote with new eyes.  It made me want to cry tears of joy.

God had placed me with an incredible group of Christian women in a boot camp/bible study ran by our good friend “Bam” of HappyFitMe.

These women gave me hope as they shared of themselves, their healing, their love of God and their struggles.  Jesus’ loved poured out of each of them every time we were together.  The words were honest.  The actions were truthful.  They gave everything they had in our workouts at the playground, on the field, in the gym and in the pool.  It was incredible.

And now as our family moves down the lake into our new house, I have hope.

Hope that God will prosper me.  Hope that God does have a plan for my life.  Hope that the friends He will surround me with will be like these boot camp women and all the women that have walked/ran with me during this very difficult transition.  Image