Tag Archives: God

Be Pruned (and Mom update!)

Last week, I was watching my boys play on their scooters and bikes when I saw this beautiful Daylily that had grown back beautiful, green leaves since I had pruned it in September. This will give you a hint of the abnormally warm weather we had in October.

On that day, this little plant taught me a very valuable lesson, something I have been pondering for over fifteen years.

20131115-203401.jpg
In the bible, the book of John tells us that Jesus says, God is the gardener, he is the vine and we are the branches. Jesus goes on further to say that he prunes us so that we will be even more fruitful.

I’ve never really understood this beautiful picture. I’ve always thought if God is God why does he need to prune us?

Back to my Daylilly in front of our house. As I walked up to it I started having a conversation in my head.

I’m sorry little Daylily. You are incredibly beautiful and wonderfully green, but I’m going to have to prune you. I know that the winter is coming soon and you are going to die unless I prune you. I need to cut back your leaves so that in the spring we can enjoy your beautiful flowers.

After these thoughts went through my head, I wanted to get down and lie on the sidewalk. I have been known to do that before with my prayer walking buddies.

I feel that I am in a season of pruning and sometimes it hurts. It is hard to see those beautiful green, lush plant leaves fall away. For me those green leaves would be: expectations, needing to ‘know’, some relationships, wanting to help. None of these things are bad, but I see that to move forward I need to let these things fall to the ground.

Now I sit, with my people, and I notice.

I try to be gentle with my newly pruned self.

My pruning is neither good nor bad.

It just is.

I allow those beautiful plants around me to give me encouragement.

20131115-202304.jpg
Those plants that are amazing at weathering the winter storms.

My counselor, my old Clark Crescent friends, my mommy friends, my prayer warriors, sexy neck and God.

In Him alone I put my trust.

I looked to His creation, His word and His ways to continue to teach me, and to allow me to weather this storm. How do you weather storms when they come?

Mom Update
Mom is one tough cookie! This process is not for wimps. Mom has had excruciating back pain all week due to her surgery two weeks ago. This morning we met with the oncologist to talk about her chemotherapy that she should start next week. This will be chemotherapy number four! Mom is very weak and still having difficulty eating. She also continues to lose weight. The doctor would like her to be stronger before she does her next chemotherapy. This should probably be the last week of November. Mom is greatly encouraged by her grandkids, a friend, Donna, who came for a visit this week as well as by my dad’s presence and my sister flying in tonight. God has us all in the palm of his hands. May you sleep well tonight mama. I love you so very much.

Be Springing Another Leak

We have sprung another leak!

This morning we woke up to a flurry of activity around our driveway that started spewing water again yesterday.

Two months ago, we had our first leak.

Now this:
7:00am Visit from the City workers.
7:08am Sexy Neck in his robe moving the cars out of the driveway. (I should have got a picture of that!)
7:30am Pumper truck shows up to start sucking the earth. (21st century version of a shovel!)

The boys are so excited. Me, I ain’t too sure. This is a little bit of a lot lately.

Enjoy our view:

20131106-074519.jpg

Update: Leak is fixed. It was our neighbours line this time around.

20131107-095801.jpg

Be Living In Godly Isolation

I stand.

On my own.

I wait.

For someone to say something.

For someone to smile, to notice, to see this shattered human among them.

I stand.

In the unknown.

I wait.

For someone to tell me something.

For someone to tell me it will be okay, mom will be healed and I will have my best friend back.

I stand.

Not knowing.

I wait.

For someone to show me something.

For someone to show me why I am living here in isolation with my boys, away from my parents, from my support, from the place I am ‘known’.

I stand.

I understand.

I wait for no one.

No human can answer my questions.

No one can be enough, no one can help me comprehend or bring me moment-by-moment comfort.

I stand.

I am not alone.

I wait.

God is my strength.
My Someone.
My everlasting peace and joy.
My understanding.
My known.
He is more than enough in my isolation from family and friends.
Thank you Jesus.

20131008-223539.jpg

Be Waiting for Friends

I have asked God to help me with new friends in our big city. I feel tired!

I have been very fortunate to have made very empathetic, thoughtful friends in our old town down the highway. Many have visited, most keep in touch. This is enough. I am blessed with friends.

I am happy to drop my son off and observe those around me. Normally, I am the one trying to connect and engage with others.

I am content to allow my son’s teacher to connect with him without my input or guidance or even an introduction. I will meet her at parent-teacher conferences in October.

I am okay with walking along and watching my beautiful boys beside me.

But this is not the end of my story.

Two Fridays ago, I took the boys to the library. There was a woman there with two boys. Her youngest son was hanging around my boys. We had a brief conversation.

At dinner (the same day!), I told my husband that I met a very interesting woman this morning at the library.

After dinner, we went for a bike ride downtown (see here) and who did we run into on the ride back? The woman from the library, Andie. We met her husband and saw her boys again.

Last night, we went for a walk in the rain. We were walking down the path in the downpour and there was a woman walking towards us. I didn’t recognize here, but she said, “Hi Joanna!” It was Andie without her glasses on.

I wonder where we will meet again.

God is so good. It was amazing to see a familiar face.

Side note: I made a joke awhile back with my friend “D” that any new friends I meet will have to have wet hair. I know funny, but I am just into real people that walk in the rain and don’t worry about getting their hair wet.

Haha God. You truly are omniscient.

Be Seeing God’s Hand.

In the depth of despair, the busyness of my mind and body I carried throughout my previous days have been stripped away.

The fog that covered my eyes has been lifted, I guess anguish will do that for you.

Gently, I see God tapping me and the people around me on their shoulders, asking, “Do you see me at work?” Interesting on the first day of school, I saw a women carrying this book that I was given while my mom was in the hospital.

20130904-203453.jpg

Also on the first day of school, I walked into the schoolyard with our realtor who helped us buy our house as well I saw an old childhood friend, Marie.

Lovingly, I see angels surrounding my parents with love and security, protection from illness and familiar faces.

Amazingly, I sense God’s healing presence in my relationship with many people. Showing me what stuff I need to deal with in my own life and the other stuff that isn’t mine. Oh I have stuff! I need to stay out of other people’s business with God. Get out of the way so that God can do His work.

Gratefully, Jesus loves us all without comparison. We all fall short when compared to God’s glory but Jesus came to be a bridge for us all to know God’s love, forgiveness and grace.

In the depth of sadness, I see God’s hand in action touching me and those around me.

Thank you God for helping walk through my anguish.

Be Leaking

I am positive I could glean many water metaphors especially in light that God is our living water. But really I am just overwhelmed.

It is never good when you see and hear this coming out of your driveway.

20130902-094007.jpg

And it really isn’t good when you see all these vehicles pull up – vacuum truck, digger, equipment truck, supervisor truck and even the dump truck waiting down the road.

20130902-094258.jpg

20130902-094307.jpg

20130902-094318.jpg

But our boys love this – monster wheels on the digger, the huge vacuum truck, the biiiig hole, shovels and cool city worker costumes.

20130902-094845.jpg
Happy labour day and thanks to these city workers for fixing our leak.

20130902-124700.jpg

Here’s our own construction worker on his way to work.

20130908-221912.jpg