How do you explain something with words that is just a feeling?
What do you say to describe a place where only you may be at?
I have been searching for weeks to describe this sense of where I am as I begin 2015.
Suddenly, as I read another woman’s story, it hit me:
“Threshold.”
A word to describe where I am at.
The best one that I can conjure up.
I am neither living in my past, nor do I feel that I am moving anywhere in the forward direction.
Sitting.
Holding still.
On a threshold.
For those that know me well, they know that holding still is not my forte.
Give me a list.
Tell me what needs to be “done”.
Ask me to organize.
I am your woman!
But not now.
Maybe not again.
My head is still fuzzy.
The grief I feel is deep and raw.
The hole my mom has left in my life is vast.
So I sit, peacefully in my home.
Happy on the ski hill.
Surrounded by love.
Glancing back.
Looking forward.
Just being.
On the threshold.
