Be Letting Go (Happy Mother’s Day)

My grip is loosening.

My expectations changing.

I feel deeply.

The pain is an open wound.

I see with wise eyes.

I know myself more.

My hands are open.

My heart is free.

Free to love.

Free to let go.

Freedom is my daily journey.

The chains are broken.

Nothing holds me back.

Letting go of expectations.

Free to be me.

(12.05.2014)

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Yesterday was Mother’s Day. My eighth Mother’s Day as a mom and the first Mother’s Day without my mom. I had many people write that they were thinking of me. I think a few were concerned.

I had a beautiful day! We spent the whole day in the yard, I painted outside, we ate together, we talked about mom and yes, we felt pain. Love overflowed through my boys, our peaceful home and the thoughts from my friends.

This open wound that was birthed when mom got sick will be open for who knows how long. BUT rejoice, I am not suffering. Each day I choose to sit and deal with my pain, my wound, my hole, the waves crashing onto me. This pain is in no way producing anger nor worry. This pain is not producing suffering which can lead to addictions, anger, resentment, wrath or …. During these days, I feel incredible peace and freedom all mixed up with incredible sadness. I feel freedom to live without excuses, with no expectations and without ‘doing’ a whole lot.

Here is this Mother’s Day in photos:

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20140512-162114.jpgThoughtful gift from my friend, D!

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