A little while ago, I went on my facebook live to talk about “standards” and got all us thinking about whose standards we are living by. Our parents? Our culture? Our teachers or coaches? Our pastors? In the video, I also talked about: “What is the standard of being a good person?”. Being a good person used to be my standard. Now, my standard is LOVE, giving love. Freely, without barter. Like these words that I pour out through my feelings and thoughts into this blog. Giving freely with no expectations of any behaviour. I encourage you to listen to this facebook live and ponder your own personal standards.
After considering my own standard for living life, I became overwhelmed with depth of feeling about what I was dealing with in my daily life. These past weeks have been a deep, cherished growing time. I work part time as a Physical Education teacher, I run a full time nutrition business that I am very passionate about. I am loving on an elderly labrador retriever. Add on to my plate running a VRBO guest house, creating time to write and workout all while pouring love and being present to three beautiful boys, that will give you a small snapshot of daily life. As my husband has been travelling in Asia the last few weeks, my sponge has gotten more and more full. I can tell that the sponge has become too full, as one night I yelled at my boys to put on their pajamas. Really! Yup, yelling, crying, feeling disgust and not being open are my ways of knowing my sponge is becoming full! Do you know your feelings that arise as your sponge gets saturated? And what the f does one do with those feelings?
Let me give you the privilege to share what I did this past week to make it to the end of the week still upright, continually smiling and still living within my standard.
Every day I move my body.
In some way. Anyway. Kitchen dance party or going to the gym.
I find a way.
Find someone who always makes you laugh or listen to something.
Find a way to laugh.
Showering helps too!
There is something that is very refreshing and soothing about water.
Even though your sponge is full, find a way to get water moving around your body.
Limit your input.
For one day this week, I did not check any type of social media.
I purposely stayed in the “real world”, present to what was going on around me.
I found a way to have less input and more me.
Pull the curtain back.
Look in the dark corners.
Thank those places that brought out the anger, the tears, the disgust. Allow them to be.
That’s where I find me.
Hiding in the back, around the corner. Truly me.
Live through the spongy times.
Fully awake to what you are feeling.
Knowing they will take you to a deep place.
A place to learn, to grow, to create roots to keep you from blowing over in the stormy weather.
A place to create an even larger sponge to deal with what comes your way in life.
A place to feel deeply. Look deeply. Be Deep.
Time to rinse out that sponge.
With one deep breath.
With the “spongy strategies” from the gift of grief from my mama.