28 | August | 2014 | "Be" ENOUGH

As the rain pounds the grass in our backyard, so my heart pounds as I think of the past year.

Mom.

Cancer.

Hospital.

Hospice.

Sun.

Tea.

Teaching.

Love.

I am in awe of the blessings that have been poured out over our family as well as the devastation we have faced. Our family’s foundation has been rocked and the house is not the same. The death of my mom, our matriach, our organizer, our connector has helped dissolve many relationships and I have been set free.

Free from judgement of who I was.

Free from expectation.

Free from trying to be someone else.

Free to be me!

Today, I sit, lay, kneel, stand in awe knowing that this storm in my rowboat of grief will end. I have learned this well in the last eight months. I know that the deepness that I feel will continue to keep me rooted and grounded. And I know that those people God has placed around me will continue to pray, think positive thoughts, remember my mom and will be journeying with us.

One thing that strikes me differently today, is thoughts about mom’s funeral. This funeral that we literally threw together trying to represent my mom’s love and character. My mom’s funeral that had mementos along the walls, food at the back, people sitting and children playing. Mom’s paddleboard and bike sat against a tree on the beach waiting… waiting… waiting.

Perhaps this is a deep time because on Monday, my dad, the boys and I took mom’s paddleboard out for a spin on Kal Lake for the VERY FIRST TIME! It was hard and rich… just like life!

I am full of gratitude for my family and friends who continue to walk this journey with me. I am in awe of everyone that stopped their Christmas vacations and spent December 29th, 2013 celebrating my mom.

These photos were provided by my dear friend, Princess Penny:

Here are a few of my “Salty Friends”:

My two wonderful cousins who have been rocks for me over the last year. Our family has loved the time we have gotten to spend with them in the last eight months.